Blog Test Audio

Just a test, please comment if you have something constructive to say. In fact please comment even if you don't, as I would appreciate all the help I can get. Thanks.

Click on the following link: Test 31st July 2007

Not a Nice Surprise

Have you ever been in a situation where you're in a hurry home, traffic is getting heavy and whats usually the quickest way home, isn't. It happened to me, what do I do, thinking like a GPS I thought next left, left again and first right will miss the lights and be back on schedule. Turning left was fine but as I turned right into the one way street. (Do you know the TV show Family Fortunes when the participants get it wrong a big X appears with this awful sound, I heard it the moment I turned right) There he was bottom of the street just opening his hatchback then he got back into his car, a one way street, cycle path to left cars parked on right. This stacks of brains decided in the middle of peak time to pick up his women folk who had been shopping, and you know what women are like loading their shopping into a car. I had enough time to pull up behind him, hunt for my camera and take this picture. In the mean time the traffic behind me had tailed back to the end of the street and the shopping was still not put away, I did hear the odd horn behind me, but I was happy enough, I'd a photo for my blog, I think blogging is helping me to manage my road rage, and anyway the lady's smiled and waved as they closed the hatchback. Sure nothing to worry about you were just holding up traffic.

Nice Surprise

What a really nice surprise I got when I looked towards one of our windows this morning. On the outside ledge sat what I think was a young Common Kestrel (Falco tinnunculus) I'm not David Attenborough I know, but I think I may be right for once.
I went for my camera in hope that the young Kestrel wouldn't fly off before I got taking a few photos. I'm surprised it sat and let me take the photo's, it looked tired and I thought it may be injured. I could not see any visible injuries and was somewhat relieved to see it fly off without any problems.

I do hope it visits again, please click on the photo to see actual size.

My Day in Town

Reluctantly I agreed to go into town today. It wasn't long before I realised why I hate the place on a Saturday. The town was packed with people, tourists (which is great to see) and shoppers who just literally want to walk over you. The ignorance of people is unbelievable at times. I hate it when you hold the door open for somebody and they can't bring themselves to say thank you. Nine times out of ten you just know they are not going to acknowledge the fact you held a door open for them. I have found a very satisfying way around this. I always say "Don't mention it" which always receives the reply "Whaaaa" then comes my reply with such a sincere look on my face "Oh sorry, I thought I heard you say thank you" (as long as they are not six foot six and built like a brick out house that is) Know what I mean like?

Buffalos v Lions v Crocodiles

I wouldn't normally watch videos of animals fighting as it usually ends up in death. But this is an amazing piece of video from a YouTube contributor I just had to watch, it has a somewhat different ending. Some days your lucks just in no mater what the odds are.

Horton Kirby

Yes, I also asked where is Horton Kirby. I thought I'd Google it and see how many results It would find. Was I in for a surprise. It found 908.000 results over 57 pages. What a popular place it seems to be. It is situated in the Garden of England (Kent for those of you who don't know)I have heard it's a favorite haunt of Formula One drivers, It reminds them of the pits.
I really can't comment about the place as I've never been there, but I'm planning a trip to Horton Kirby for September. My bestest buddy moved there a couple of years back. (just an idiot looking for a village to settle in)
Thanks to Google maps I was able to see a layout of the area, Google also found a result for Kent Swingers site map which include a link to the Horton Kirby Swingers. (I wonder is that why he moved there) I have looked and looked at the map but can't see the park anywhere?.

Smile Time

Starting to smile now, we have booked a holiday for the end of the year (God spares us that is) so something to look forward too. Off on a cruise to the Caribbean ......... yahoooooooooooooooo. This is the ship we will be on the Costa Fortuna. Found this on YouTube.

Grammatically Incorrect

I was talking to someone about this blog. I had asked the person for feedback. “Actually, it is grammatically incorrect in places” they answered. Apparently I had / have put SEEN instead of SAW / AN instead of A (or the other way about, what would I know anyway) and of course some punctuation mistakes. Well send me to the back of the class!
Blogging is user generated content, anyone can do it. Requirements for blogging don’t include a degree in English or English Literature. I would have thought if the words SEE, SEEN or SAW were (not where) mentioned in a post, the reader would have the intelligence to work out what I meened (sorry) meant.
I find blogging great fun despite the spelling and grammar mistakes. (and here’s me finking I'm purfect)

If Only

I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE…BACKWARDS

You start out dead and get that out of the way, and then you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being to healthy; go and collect your pension, and then you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work for 40 years until your young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party till all hours, your generally promiscuous and you get ready for senior school, you become a kid, you play and have no responsibilities, you then become a baby, and then you spend the next nine months floating peacefully in luxury, In space like conditions, central heating, room service on tap, larger living area every day, and then you finish off as an orgasm! Perfect!

The Open

The 2007 British Open had one of the most exciting finishes I've seen in recent years. I'm sure even the non-golfers who watched it will say the same. 60 years since an Irish man won an open, congratulations to Padraig Harrington and thanks for the great golf. The Irish were also involved elsewhere around the course. A lady spectator from County Armagh was hit on the head by a Tiger Woods ball, stitches for her but lucky for him as it bounced back onto the fairway.
I remember playing golf with a lady member at a club once, (which will remain nameless) we had not been playing very well and both our drives off a par 4 tee box went right and ended up in a field that had a dead cow in it. We climbed over a small fence into the field where I found my ball sitting up nicely a few feet from the fence, an easy 6 iron onto the green I thought. As she was still looking for the ball I joined the search. The only place she didn't look was over by the dead cow, I volunteered and went to look. I spotted a golf ball which was lying by the cows rear end. All's I done was get my club lift the cows tail and shout over "This looks like yours" and she stormed off back to the club house..... Women

Hair Technicians

Took the lady of the house to the hairdressers this morning, so I thought I need a trim. As the place is unisex I waited in line for the snip (haircut). I have been there been many times before and I'm always asked the same question "What would you like". Now take into mind I've had a number 1 all over for at least the last 10+ years so there is not really much else can be done with it other than (yes you've got it) a number 1. Then comes "Take your glasses off" and into the cutting we go. When it's finished a mirror is picked up and held at the back of my head and I'm asked the question "Hows that look" (I think, you tell me, I've no glasses on)
It's the first time I've been in the hairdressers when it been full of women, it was a real experience I can say. There was one I can only describe as motormouth. Her volume was enough to get the noise abatement people involved. The rest were hanging onto her every word with arms folder and nodding heads. (look like a scene from the two Ronnie's) I had not too long to wait and the cut itself was of minimal time, but before I left the place I'd found out, where she went on her last four holidays, her taste in music, what tablets she's on, her husbands dislikes, her daughters kids and I now feel like one of the family.

The Wii To Go

OK, not really a grumpy post more of a knowledge brother one. After winning at bowls on Wii sports for the second consecutive night I decided to try the Internet channel on it. First I made sure my wireless router was on and a Wii I went. (Sorry couldn't resist that one). Talking about the Wii in work today I was asked if the great Google Earth could be view on it, no is the answer to that one, unless you know different that is, please comment. Anyway got to thinking and tried Google Maps, then selected the satellite photo and hey presto great result ...... Click on the picture for larger view.

Aqua Bear

My Daughter and her intended had set their sights on Jamaica for their honeymoon in May. As they planned their fantastic time in the sun, first class the whole way, 5 star hotel, swimming with the dolphins, island tours etc etc, they decided to buy their very own wet suits before they went. My Daughter was at work so M (No not M out of the Bond movies, well Brooke Bond maybe) left his work to go home for lunch. While at home he had a thought "I'll try the wetsuit on and test it in the shower before going back to work". After the test drive, unfortunately he couldn't get the wetsuit off. Being such a conscientious worker he dried himself (well the wet suit) and put his clothes back on over the top, then went back to work. I think his colleagues thought he was having a heart attack as the sweat was running off him. He had to confess before an ambulance was called and get someone to help out of the wetsuit. Apparently his work friends came in a couple of days later wearing swimming masks with snorkels ........
The honeymoon is long over, they are now both back to work and the whole episode about the wetsuit is long forgotten ........ or so he thought..... my daughter bought him his very own custom made Aqua Bear .... Sorry M, the devil made me do it.

The Right to Reply

The right to reply is something I hold dearly. I like to reply and I expect a reply especially to emails. It drives me bonkers when someone asks for something to be sent to them via email and don't even have the politeness to reply. I've started to put read receipts on the emails of repeat offenders, but I got to thinking perhaps they have no idea how to reply. (so much of it about) I have put this photo of the tool bar relating to Microsoft Outlook inbox on the blog to help those who find it difficult to reply.

IT'S THE REPLY BUTTON YOU SELECT - - - - -



Go on it's easy give it a go ... you know you want to!

Opp's (Big Style)

Last Night, It was only a Wii accident. After watching some Wii accidents on YouTube and thinking "What Plonkers" I myself became a victim of the dreaded flying nun-chuck. (well my 37inc LCD HD Ready TV did) I had been playing with the wife (let me rephrase that) My wife and I had been playing Wii sports (same thing I hear you say) and she whooped me at the bowls. She was so happy she offered to make me a cup of tea which I gracefully accepted. While she was away making the tea I thought I'd get in some practice bowling. It started off well, I was getting really into it, but I got carried away. I decided to blast the last bowl as hard as possible, a big back swing and fast follow through. On the way through I was so close to the sofa my Wii remote collected this non combatant sleeping nun-chuck and propelled it straight at the screen at a speed unseen in my living room before.
The noise of it hitting the screen was frighting, I didn't really want to look but had to, it did in fact damage the screen. A tiny mark, but I see it every time I look at the TV. (who said I'm too old to cry)
This is true, moments earlier I had spoken to the wife about her remote armband. I gave her the lecture (as men do) about it slipping off and hitting the tv. (Someone up there has a funny sence of humour)

Why I Hate Shopping

The women of the family love shopping (As do most women) but after a day out yesterday they said lets go shopping tomorrow to Dundrum. I said there are not many shops in Dundrum would it not be better to go onto Newcastle? They both laughed and said in unison "Dundrum Shopping Centre Dublin"

It's roughly 236 mile round trip, (M50 Exit 13) yeah great Idea. We set off shortly after 8am and the drive down was done by my my son in law, so I was able to relax for a change and admire the scenery. The weather was great and after a couple of hours we arrived ready to shop. Michel and I checked out the Virgin Megastore and Game (That was our shopping done, with no buys) I think the women went into and looked at every shop in the centre. Nothing purchased by lunch so we all headed to Eddie Rockets, great place for lunch. After the food had settled I dared to asked "What next" I suggested heading into the city centre, after a few seconds deliberation the women suggested lets go to Bridgewater Park. I looked at Michel, he looked at me and we both said "BANBRIDGE". So off we set (Daughter driving) to travel 94 miles north. (At least it was on our way home) When we got to Bridgewater Park, money got spent .... And women wonder why guys hate shopping?, we just do, get over it, and expeditions like today do not further your cause dears....

What Will We Do Today

Friday the 13th strikes fear into the hearts of many, an unlucky day for some, to me it's just another day with a different number. What will we do today I thought, whats on in this wonderful province of ours. The Ballymena Steam Traction Engine Rally at the Ballymena Show Grounds won the day. I've always loved the traction engines ever since I watching Fred Dibnah on television....

The day started with the usual, Ulster rain and it lasted let me think..all day, yep all day. We arrived at the show grounds and found a good car parking space.... On our advancement into the show grounds we were met with the money collectors charging £7 per adult. (£7 that must include a season ticket for Ballymena United I thought) But with the Hugo Duncan Roadshow going out live on Radio Ulster from the Showgrounds it was well worth the money. Lot's of local talent on the show. A great turn out for such a wet day, but with Hugo there I'd expect nothing less.

I was astounded to see so many people had actually brought their dog's to the show. (Free for animals) I saw German Shepard's, Labradors, Spaniels to lovely little Chitzu's (I used to think a Chitzu was a zoo with no animals!) Why do people take their pets to shows, you even see them taking there pooch's to the various markets where people dander round and every now and again you will here the yelp, the result of someone standing on the dog's paw or tale. Leave the pet at home dim wit.

Forever Young

The last games consul I owned was many many years ago, perhaps even you may remember the old Atari ... (Space invaders, Centipede etc) When I progressed to the personal computer I put the game playing behind me and started into the more serious stuff of the flight simulators, flying 747s, various Airbus types and FA18s (mind you I crashed every time). I have had no inclination into getting a game consul, that was until last Sunday. (I've seen the PSs, 360s and game cubes, not for me I'm afraid) Last Sunday I was blown away (Not literally of course, I'm sure there are those out there that say "That's a pity") anyway back to Sunday. I had gone over to my daughters for dinner. My son in law and her introduced me to their new Nintendo Wii .... WOW ... I was so impressed. (I'd heard others rave about them) We played Wii Sports which was great fun and I felt I had been playing real Tennis and Golf the following morning. (I was aching) There is so much this machine can do (Did I mention it's has wi-fi) It was the first time in years and years that I thought I must have one. So my fantastic wife bought me one. (Ok, give me her permission to buy one) I had to think for awhile, what age am I? Age doesn't come into it my friends. (oops, sounded like Big Ian there) I'm getting near the centre of 50. Some guys buy fast cars or motorbikes to cope with their mid life crises, (perhaps I'm too old now for that one) me I buy a Nintendo Wii, and I'm having a Ball .. (Tennis, Golf, Bowling and Baseball). Oh yes in case you are interested the dinner was lovely.

Live Free or Die Hard

My trilogy box set of Die Hard movies is now out of date with the release of Die Hard 4.0 the latest movie with character Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis, as if you didn't know) saving the USA yet again.
I went to Storm Cinema at the Odyssey Pavilion and of course the VIP screening. (a few £ extra but well worth it, for the coffee, free refills and of course the soft recliners)
The movie is fantastic, with lots of banging (sorry, shooting and explosions) fantastic stunts and special effects, just what you need to break the boredom. Leave your brain at the door though as it's only make believe (or is it)
Once you see the fighter plane sequence you'll understand why wars last so long, the so called marine pilot hits everything with his heat seeking missiles and onboard cannons except what he was aiming for, as they say here:

"He couldn't hit a cow on the arse with a big stick"

Oh yes and he had to eject in the end, and once again John McClane gets out alive.
Do you think we are looking at a Die Hard 5?

News Hound (Ok Cat)

This is my cat Tigger, she caught an interesting news item on BBC's News 24 today and decided to take a closer look.
I think she may need her eyes tested if she has to get that close to the TV or perhaps the volume was just a little low. I do hope she doesn't work out how to use the remote control, though that is very unlikely as you see, Tigger is female.

Lucky Chain Emails

How many times have you opened your email account to emails with headings such as "This Really Works" promising you various types of luck if you send it on to certain amounts of people. I can't believe it still happens, and people believe it.
I received such an email a few moments ago. A total load of rubbish relating to a wish that would bring me luck of different proportions again depending on how many I send it too.

I googled "The truth about chain emails" It found 1,850,000 results (popular or what)
I checked out the first lot of results all with the same views as mine.
1. If you receive an email with a threat of bad luck delete it.
2. If it is a promise of good luck delete it.
3. If it's funny, then pass it on and make someone smile.

Follow those three rules and you'll not go far wrong.

Top Gear News

I was looking at the BBC News website and I'd like to tell you about an interesting item I found about the BBC programme Top Gear.
The item states

"The BBC's motoring programme Top Gear has been accused of causing damage to a
pristine wilderness in Botswana."

A pristine wilderness ..... Is that not wasteland, have I got it wrong? .. I checked out what the Oxford dictionary had to say about those words and had the following results:
PRISTINE:
• adjective 1. in its original condition. 2. clean and fresh as if new.
— ORIGIN Latin pristinus ‘former’.
WILDERNESS:
• noun 1. an uncultivated, uninhabited, and inhospitable region. 2. a position of disfavour.

There you are "wasteland". That's that misunderstanding sorted.
It's good to know I'm not the only one in this world who moans about nothing.

Water Feature

July the 6th, well into summer now. I was thinking of heading down to B&Q for a nice water feature for the garden, but the water service had one already installed outside my house ... It must be solar powered and I think it requires heavy rain to work ... gee thanks guys.

May Be It's Because I'm NOT A Londoner

I was watching the idiots lantern when Eastenders came on. My wife loves the program but to be honest I can't stand it. Do people in the East End really talk like that?.
In Albert Square they are either screaming or whispering at each other, and it's so full of so called hard men and soft women. The plot's in the program (and I don't mean where Arthur Fowler grew his veg) last forever and re-appear as if new in true soap tradition.
Am I the only one who finks this, it's just a fought I've had ..... do you know Peggys boys Fill & Garant or Jim & Dorriffey....... No wot I meen Gov.....

They Do Grow Up Like Their Mums

I'm sure you've heard the saying about daughters growing up to be like their mums, well it's true. Been invited out to my daughter and son in law for lunch on Sunday. (first lunch with them after their wedding and may I add in their newly decorated apartment).
Me, I eat almost anything so I really don't mind whats for lunch. How many times have our wonderful wives (I know it happens all over the world) so tenderly asked "what would you like for dinner" which I would normally reply "Anything". Then it starts... " How about a nice steak" I'd reply "Great Idea that would be lovely" ...... Then comes "or there's fish" ..... "No thanks steak would be super" ...... "There's pizza there if you don't want fish" .... "No darling honest steak will do" ....... It's about this stage that hunger seems to leave the body.
Back to the daughter .... she was on the phone last night organising the menu, I said "Anything would be lovely", the choice of starter "Prawn Cocktail, Soup or Deep Fried Cheese" all wonderful .. I logged onto MSN this morning and it started .... "Is Prawn Cocktail ok for starters" ..... Do they learn this sort of torture in their domestic science classes in girl's schools........
I'm expecting feedback on this post ....... Know what I mean ......
I'm well look after :)

Night of The Living Dead

It's hard to believe that our city centre at times can turn from being such a beautiful historical city into something like a scene from a Hammer horror film. It can, and it's all thanks to the Goths. http://www.goth.net/goth.html I was driving through the city centre approaching the traffic lights at the bottom of Bedford Street (traffic lights at green of course) when one from a group of so called Goths decided to play goth chicken with me.
He just stepped straight of the kerb directly into the my path. I had to brake of course (a selfish move I have to say) as it would have taken me ages to clean the make up off my car if I'd hit him. (umm, I think it was a him) I did give a toot of the vehicle horn which in turn caused a vast retaliation of verbal abuse from his fellow Addams Family Members, I opened my window which seemed to turn them into the headless chicken mode and the only thing I could think to shout was BOO ..... It really did the trick, but I also think I scared some passers by....

Great Day For A Moan

What a great day it was to get grumpy.

First I want to get my teeth into one of my favorite moans.

Plonkers who don't and won't stop at red traffic lights. You can hear the pitch of their engine change just as the lights turn to red so they can race through and reach the other side of the junction just in time to join the queue and block the road.

I was waiting to cross the junction Ormeau Avenue / Bedford Street when the lights changed and a car just made it (I gave it the benefit of the doubt) but the van as you can see by the photo was well breaking the law. (I had my camera at the ready as it's a great place to catch the light jumpers (Pity the PSNI were not as concerned)

I hate ignorance, there is so much of it about. I could not believe my eyes today (Ok I did believe them as I know the culprit I'm about to give off about)

Our staff canteen (oops restaurant) we have a so called quite area with soft seats and low tables where you will regularly find knowledge brothers having coffee breaks and discussing the finer points of present day technology. Well today was no different, but one of the bro had his feet resting on a table. I tried to point out to him that people actually eat off those tables and they are not for him to put his kebs (feet/shoes) on, kebs that has walked through who knows what on his way to work. I asked him if he did that at home and when he answered yes, well it didn't really surprise me. I think he must have missed the good manners lessons at whatever school/university he went too. I would not even expect this sort of behaviour from a child. I shudder to think what might have happened if he'd been smart enough to become a doctor.

The rain, I'm sure you have seen it. The roads becoming flooded and cars trying to avoid deep puddles so people on the foot path would not get drenched. Then comes the 4X4s, ego extenders, some driven by people who can see no further than their imaginary status. They don't give a thought to pedestrians as long as they can fly through the puddles as if at waterworld. If you get soaked by any vehicle you have a right to report the driver to the police ..... go for it.

Happy Days

Did I get something to smile about this evening. On returning to my base I was stopped at the traffic lights at the junction of May Street / Victoria Street. When the traffic lights changed to green this blue car coming the other way sailed through the red light. Happy days, there was a PSNI (Police Service Not Interested) patrol car two spaces in front of me. Am I impressed or what, they put the blue's and two's on and chased the car to the next set of traffic lights. It was just as well those traffic lights were at red with other cars blocking the way or perhaps the driver may have gotten away. At last I have seen them in action, though on the other hand they could have just known the driver and wanted to say hello.

Smoking Ban in England

1 st July 2007 is the start of the smoking ban in public places for England. This ban has been in place in Northern Ireland for the last few months.
I have to say it is great to be able to walk into a bar or restaurant without the stench of cigarette, cigar or pipe smoke filling the air. It is also an added bonus to have my clothes smelling ok the next morning instead of the usual smoke smell as if I'd left them in an ashtray overnight. I know the smoke smell is a result from other people's enjoyment (I love a beer now and again, the result of that enjoyment normally ends up in the loo, how would smokers like it if it ended up on their clothes?)
I know people somehow enjoy filling their lungs full of smoke, but I personally can't understand the joy of this.
If smokers want to damage their health that's up to them, why should other people suffer though. I really hate to see pregnant women smoking, the poor child has no say in the mater. These so called mothers should be taken to task and fined, is this not another form of child abuse?????