Friday, 29 February 2008

If You Gotta Do It....

Went to B&Q at Sprucefield today to get some odds and ends. Took a sudden urge to drop the kids off at the pool, so off I went. The first cubical I tried I had to laugh... This place is massive and the throne I picked had no seat on it. I was going to offer to fix it for them but wasn't sure if they do toilet seats ...... You know what they say ...

"If you gotta do it, B&Q it"

Thursday, 28 February 2008

Sorry Missus

Met an irate woman driver while trying to maneuver through a very tight gate. Had to take a couple of cuts to get in and I must have held this witch up for all of 20 seconds, she had a bake on her like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Still Losing

Went to ye old fat fighters tonight to find I had another 2 and a half lb off. My little weight losing swamp duck beat me by losing 4lb, and taking the title Slimmer of the week.

I'm sure I tasted sugar in my meals this week

Monday, 25 February 2008

No ID Who Cares

Stopped off at Tesco's Yorkgate (Teatime) for a few things.
As I got to the checkout two youths were having a discussion with the checkout girl, she had asked for ID as they had a case of bud to buy. One of the youths walked away while the older looking of the two argued with two checkout girls that he was old enough to buy the drink.... He had no ID (I could ad EA on the end and still be right) but his persistence paid off, they let him buy the drink..... I did pass a comment; “When in doubt sell them the drink….” It went down like a fart in a space suit, I have to say….
Company Policy, I don’t think so

Saturday, 23 February 2008


Went to B&Q for odds and ends, one item wanted, a new toilet seat… My treasure was with me so I knew that whatever choice had to be made it was out of my hands.
Got to the bathroom department and there displayed were the toilet seats available. A couple of dozen, all different designs… Loads of nice white one’s… why wasn’t I surprised when I she told me “Nah, don’t like any of them”
I said to my treasure “They are not for us to look at and admire”….. (Why does life have to be so complicated at times ???)

Friday, 22 February 2008

Country Driving

I was always told when walking along country roads to walk facing the oncoming traffic, I don’t think anyone has told the locals between Markethill
View Larger Map and Newtownhamilton.
The road is quite tight in places and the last thing you want to see is a pedestrian on your side of the road who doesn’t know you’re behind them. One was a woman with two small dogs on very long leads. I love animals, but nowhere to go but straight if the dogs suddenly decide to run into the road…. Missus, short lead on the road, Long lead in the field…
On the return journey heading back the Armagh road I met prat of the year… just outside Keady, in a silver 4X4 approaching me at a tight part of the road I slowed down to pass safely when I notice this elderly driver with a young girl on his knee and two pairs of hands on the steering wheel…. Some people just don’t care……

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Benefits of Losing Weight

I don't care if those of you (OK both of you) who read my blog are getting bored of me blogging about my diet (Wednesday's only) I went to fat fighters tonight to find I've lost another 4lb.... 37 now in total....
I was thinking about some of the benefits I've noticed so far since losing the weight: Snoring has stopped, sleeping better, more room in the bed, blood pressure down, buying smaller clothes but the funniest thing.... The large vehicle I drive goes about 7 mph faster...... It's not because I weigh less but I've had to move the seat forward 3 clicks and I've found the accelerator goes down a bit further.
Before any mule orifice say's "Lose it all and it will go 60mph faster" ...

I thought of it first.....

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Dense Fog

Driving up to Limavady this morning not only had I to deal with the dense fog around Toomebridge but also dense drivers who did'nt even slow down or turn on their fog lights ...... perhaps they were waiting until the fog cleared before switching their fog lights on, I'm sure you've see their kind about... A well, back safe and sound.
Tomorrow I'm off to Londonderry / Derry / Stroke City / The Maiden City
Whatever you want to call it, it's the same place....

Monday, 18 February 2008

Amazing Stuff

Believe it or not, you can read it. Had this sent to me, it looks like my typing....

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe.... Amzanig huh?

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Out For Dinner

Been eating dust for the last six weeks so last night I took a break and headed out to Pizza Express with my swamp duck and a couple of friends. I had my favorite Pizza a Sloppy Giuseppe ...... washed down with a few glasses of the house white. Headed out after for a few Bloody Marys .... (I never intended to drink as much as I did but hey, Great food, Great company and a Great night out)

I felt like a beg of dung this morning ........

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Duty of Care

Have you heard or read about the guy in Wearside who is suing the bookmakers William Hill for more than £2m, money he lost gambling after asking the bookmaker not to let him bet again. He thinks after he asked them to stop letting him bet it's their fault he has lost more money.
It will be for the court to establish exactly how and why the guy started betting again and whether William Hill can be held legally liable for his behaviour......

It's always someone else's fault when we mess up..... I wonder if I ask my local pub to stop selling me beer and the bakery to stop selling me cream cakes, if they don't, will it be their fault if I get drunk and fat? can I sue them ?

I was wondering who can I sue for being fat & surely can't be my fault?...... Where do we draw the line and accept responsibility for our own actions? .....

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Eat Dust

Went to my fat fighters class tonight... It was great to see my sweetness and pleasure had another 3 and a half lb off..... I had hoped to have 2lb off this week, but what a nice suprise when I weighed in with another 4lb off, which brings my total so far to 33lb.... And I got slimmer of the week.... Photo's to follow ....... NOT

Thats Mates For You

I'm doing a project at the moment were I've been making some cookery videos perhaps for YouTube or even for this blog. I asked a work colleague (Used to be a mate) to run his eye over one of me making soup.
My ex mate said

"Why don't you just buy soup out of Tescos"

Thanks for the constructive criticism .......

Monday, 11 February 2008

2008 BAFTA Awards

I watched the BAFTA Awards last night on the idiot’s lantern. For about the first eleven minutes Jonathan Woss sounded as if he was doing an impression of the sea creatures out of Stingray …. (Until the sound guys got it right, that is)...
I was amazed to see most of the stars reading out the nominations for the various categories using auto-cue (And badly at that). I would have thought being stars they would have been able to learn and remember their lines.
They could learn a lot from Sir Ian McKellen a true pro who showed the youngsters how it should be done...

Sunday, 10 February 2008

National Treasure 2

Went to the Storm Cinema at the Odyssey tonight to see new National Treasure. Great movie, if you liked the first one you’ll also like this one. We paid extra for the VIP screen. We enjoyed the pre movie tea and when we got into VIP screen 2 it was annoying to find out that one of our two recliners was broken. As there were no other available seats we had to take them. To top that a 2+3 family could be heard at the back talking throughout the whole film and they must have had bladder problems as I lost count how many times they disturbed film punters by getting up and going to the loo. Talking about loo’s, they were not the cleanest I have to say. (I waited until the film was over before you ask) I walked out of the loo with something on the bottom of my shoe …. I was relieved to find it was only chewing gum.
Oh yes, complained and got our ticket money refunded....

Oh Dear

Heading back from County Fermanagh yesterday evening developed engine trouble. Ended up on the hard shoulder on the M1 at around 16:20. I got recovered after 11pm by a large tow truck. I was glad I had my mobile, my trusty iPod and my digital camera with me. When I got bored phoning people, watching videos on my ipod, I turned to my camera and took some night photos from inside my vehicle. I stayed inside as it was really cold and anyway there were a few hard shoulder rats running about looking grub.....
I was glad when the mechanics came out as they let me sit in their van with the heater going …. At last some heat.. Thanks lads.

Friday, 8 February 2008

Great Food, Great Room & Free Internet

Not really a hotel review, but I want to tell you anyway. Working down in the beautiful county of Fermanagh today and tomorrow so staying overnight at the lovely Killyhevlin Hotel in Enniskillen. As I'm still going to fat fighters dinner was a worry, what can I have, what will I have. Two minutes looking at the menu was all I needed to work it out. I told the waitress I was on a diet and could I have a poached egg and veg ..... along with my 8oz sirloin steak that is. The meal was great. No desert and finished my meal with a peppermint tea. My room was223 with a view overlooking Lough Erne. I had noticed a Lan port in the room and asked at reception about the cost of use... FREE I was told, and they even give me a cable to use. How often do you get that, Free Internet?

It's keeping me out of the bar anyway....... honest

Thursday, 7 February 2008

Bedford Street - Ormeau Avenue Junction

In the past I have blogged about this junction. How drivers ignore the changing traffic lights. I noticed today the ministry clipboard men in the luminous jackets standing at the junction for most of the day taking notes. Hopefully they are putting in a traffic camera to catch the light jumpers. They'll make a packet.

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Weight Update (Only If you're interested)

Just back from my Slimming World class and although I wasn’t slimmer of the week this week, I did have another 2 and a half pound off.... That makes 29lb so far (2 stone 1)..... Aren’t I doing well...... Roll on my first target of 3 stone. Thanks SW...

Monday, 4 February 2008

Cat Books

I was sitting at my PC when I was joined by Tigger our cat. Think she was bored as she jumped onto the bookcase to check out the books.

Can cats read?

Saturday, 2 February 2008

Shopping At The Port

Went a drive to Portadown today. My swamp duck wanted to do a bit of shopping while we were there. Went to a lovely cafe called Hobbs and had some soup before the shopping trek. Standing outside a shop in the main street I was impressed to see on the footpath not only a litter bin but beside it, was another bin for putting your cizarettes out and for your used gum. I then looked at the footpath .... It was covered in chewing gum never mind the litter.

Some people in Portadown need to go to Specsavers.......

Friday, 1 February 2008

Two Out Of Three

I have blogged the last two Fridays about how the local bus drivers seem to have taken pleasant tablets. The Friday drivers have been really friendly over the last couple of weeks.. Today I was actually looking forward to getting the bus home. Standing in the cold I saw the bus coming. It stopped about 25 yards from the bus stop to let the passengers alight (get off). The driver then closed the doors and got his paper out. He sat for about 3 minutes before driving forward to our stop. (3 minutes, what was the point) I got on and give the driver my money for the ticket, I said please and thank you for my ticket but never even got a grunt back. He had a bake on him like a Lurgan spade. I made a point of saying thank you again to him when I was getting off ...... Looks like I got it wrong about the Friday drivers......