Change Coming Soon

Blog to change direction.... Instead of "In My Opinion" it will Be "News, as I see it" I will be looking at the daily news and putting my thoughts on it... What you recon..... (You know I don't care what anyones thinks...lol)

Beware Of Men In Mini Skirts

Two drunken louts in Swansea got their comeuppance when they picked on who they thought were ladies on a night out. They turned out to be cage fighters dressed for a stag do.

We All Get Old

Remember, we all get old. Hope this video is thought provoking

Belleek Weekend

Went to Belleek in County Fermanagh. The weather was fantastic, drink flowed like Lough Erne, craic was mighty, but the Hotel ???? ... how could I describe it.... I'll put it like this, it would make Faulty Towers look light a Hilton ....

Relaxing

Up early yesterday had a short walk then got the 7am bus into town. I wanted to take some photos of the City Hall first thing, before heading down to St Georges Market (And all this before work) I have to say it was so relaxing.

I was in the City Hall grounds snapping away when I was approached by a man who started randomly talking about how the Belfast wheel was built, and then progressed on to talk about how the pyramids were built. He gave me his thoughts about the death and hard labour connected with the construction of pyramids and how the labour of today can't do anything without a forklift truck and a crane. (A glimmer of truth in that) Remember, I'm there to relax and I'm trying to get use to my new camera.

He then asked me what I thought of the pyramids, I told him I disagreed with him, as the Martians built the pyramids... it done the trick... No more questions....No more man..

Hope you like the photo's.....

Yee Grand Old Opera House

My little swamp duck and I went to the GOH in Belfast last night to see Annie. A great production with Sue Pollard in the role of Miss Hannigan.
The show started at 19:45 (Quarter to eight) about 10 - 15 minutes into the show these six dames (Yes, they did look as if they were out of a panto) came waltzing in and three of them sat in the seats in the row directly in front of us. They shuffled about to make themselves comfortable, took their coats off and then.... took their mobiles out and started to text..... (I had thought they were going to turn them off).. then they starting talking .... one of the phones rang and they answered the call and started talking... All while the show was going on... That was it.....

I asked them was there any chance of me hearing the show, the one in the middle turned around to start a staring contest with me. (She abused the privilege of being ugly let me tell you) It lasted about 4 secs, I Won. They didn't open their cake hole the rest of the night, it was obvious they don't often get out.

I enjoyed the show anyway

Only In America

Is it a shaggy dog story ????

Light Trails

Don't get much time to blog at the moment so I'll just stick the odd photo up in the mean time... I tried my hand at light trails......

An Obituary Printed In The Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies ( don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and should you do so the burglar would sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Cruise Ship

Royal Caribbeans "Jewel of the Seas" made a visit to the Port of Belfast. Met a few of the passengers (Americans) doing some shopping in our very own shopping mall (Castle Court)

A Day For Transport

What a lovely day it was, sun shinning so off to the Folk and Transport Museum for a while. Viewed loads of old modes of transport trams, trolley buses and Steam trains to name a few. Over to view yee old cottages etc at the folk part. A great day in all, but what put the icing on the cake was the fly past of the Airbus A380 over the George Best City Airport en-route to the Airport at Portrush. The plane did two low level fly pasts,.... looked awsome...

Wee Joke For The Weekend

An English man & an Irish man are driving head on at night, on a twisty dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions & collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' May the English & the Irish live together forever in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down.
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies:
...... "Nah thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here"

Diet Drink

I do enjoy the odd diet drink to quench the thirst and help with the calorie count. This guy in Florida (That's in the USA, if you've never heard of it) found something odd in his can of Diet P.

I wonder how many calorie's it added.....

500 students disciplined in year

The post title is a headline of a BBC NI News web page... I posted on the subject of some of the student ASB (Anti-social behaviour) back in June (12th, Police Appeal).
The following is a quote from the page.

"The university is being very active in terms of the discipline - now there
are cases still ongoing - but there is a very strong disciplinary message going
out,"

What I would like to know, what were the fines ????? (In my opinion, I bet they were not enough)

New Pledge of Allegiance (USA)

Recieved an email from a friend in the USA with the following text... In my opinion it's worth a read.
Written by a 15 yr. old School Kid in Ohio:
New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME!)
Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer Are not allowed in Schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned...

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom thing..
The law is specific, the law is precise...
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
We can carry smut, but not the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot;
My soul please take! ......Amen

Well? what do you think?

Countdown To Christmas

Looks like Christmas is just around the corner, the countdown has started and is up and running on the Internet. While I was channel flicking on the TV, I even saw a Christmas sale on one of the shopping channels...

HO HO HO

Joke Of The Day

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Eddie, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Eddie says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. "

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

Strictly Dung Dancing

OH NO that time again! Got my TV untuned in case I mistakenly tuned into the X Factor (Can't stand the judges) and now Strictly has risen it's head, it's not the dancers I dislike, I just think it time they retired Brucie and the judges. They do my head in.... Thank goodness for DVD's ........

Britain's Most Romantic Husband

I'm sure my LSD thinks that me, but I read this web page and it looks like it's Tom from North Wales.. (Fair play to you sir)
Like Tom, a kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night is a daily routine for me and I always wipe the mirror straight after..
I can say though I never go to sleep with an argument open.... I stay up and fight the bitch alnight if I have too....

Only joking..

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Old Folks Home and the amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from many Senior Homes to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family five or six Generations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .' The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the Floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Old Folks Home

Dont Talk To Strangers

How often have you said that to your children, (If you have any that is) but yet at some event's you actually encourage you offspring to do just that. Take Christmas for instance. Some old fat boy in a red suit sitting on a chair and I have had first hand experience of seeing parents forcing, yes forcing their sprogs onto fat boy's knee so they can get a photo for the album.
Do we really know who the hell is inside the suit? The reason I thought I'd blog on this brings me back to the Tall Shits (Oops Ships)
This good old friendly bear (Photo) was walking around shaking hands, patting kids on heads and getting hugs. Later the same bear was observed (By not only myself but by a couple of my work colleagues) going into a public portable toilet marked disabled, along with its two young female handlers. The trio stayed in the loo for at least 40 minutes before leaving. (I suppose to shake more hands and pat more heads) What were they doing in the den for that length of time?. your guess is as good as mine.

Hug the bear, NO BLOODY WAY...

No More Tall Ships

Listening to the news today I heard that Belfast is fighting to get the Tall Ships back. I broke into a cold sweat... until I heard, not for another nine years.... Phew...
I'll either be retired or dead by then... (lucky break me thinks)

More Ships

Belfast Port is becoming a regular stop for passing cruise liners (Passing to where I've no Idea) This Princess monster was at the Pollock Dock, so I ventured to get a snap.I read on the website that it will be leaving it's berth at 20:00 (8pm) so I got down to the port for around 19:30 and the shit had gone... just a speck on the horizon .... it's in again bank holiday weekend so may be I'll get a shot of her at sea..... (Here's hoping)

Sail Away

At last, the ships are gone. Four days of this nautical festival are finally over. I almost shed a tear as I spotted the arse end (Stern) of the last vessel sailing off into the distance. Looking back over the four days I'm sure the crowds who attended spent a fortune. Trying to get something to eat or drink was like a task out of the Krypton Factor, only the smart won the race to the till. I'm sure all the catering staff at the event got fed up with joe public. I found a great spot for coffee in the form of a stall set up by The Street. It was always easier to go to the stall rather than queue in their cafe. What I didn't like was the milk sat in a big open jug on a table set aside from the stall for all who wanted to, spit, flick their bogies or drop anything of their choice into the jug. I asked each time for a coffee with milk and watched as the milk came out of a covered container from behind the stall. Today was the first time I was told "You get the milk from the jug" I said "I don't think so, I want it from the covered container"... (I got the look of death, and the milk from the container)

Everything was so costly, one of the night returning to the Giant's Park (park n ride) an ice cream van was waiting and I heard a 99 call out to me so I had to have one. £1.50 for a bog standard ice cream cone (Poke) with a bottom of the range chocolate flake stuck into it. I admit it was nice.

By the way, Giant's Park is the main council dump......

Boats R Us Day 3

The weather was fantastic all day, brought the people out yet again.. Everyone seemed to be in great form (Which is something new for this place) Lots of music today in the form of a band of the Sea Cadets, which I have to say were fantastic. BBC Radio Ulster had more outside broadcasts today and more presenters playing music after the station was off the air.. loads to entertain the crowds.

In the afternoon there was a record breaking attempt to see if Belfast could gather over 1500 Pirates in the one place... Think I saw about 50... hard luck guys... so many people did put a lot of effort into the Captain Jack Sparrow look but I don't think it was very well publicised, pity someone hadn't flooded facebook with the idea, I recon there's not much chance of using the Internet on the "Black Pearl" (If you know what I mean)

Lots of demonstrations from the various emergency services like the Ambulance service attending the countless number of people taking ill at the event, the PSNI enforcing the "It's our way or no way rule" The NI Fire Service showed what to do in the event of a chip pan fire, they also had a make up car accident.... What I did notice was the location of it... right in front of the fairground dodgems..... well it was Cullens dodgems

I See Tall Ships

I even saw tall ships in my dreams last night... Day 2 down at the port started off with a rain and more rain. The place turned into an umbrella hell. For the second day in a row I tried to get a good view of the ships. Yesterday it was the vast crowd that made it totally impossible for me to get around all the ships in the little time I had, today it was made impossible because of the huge amount of umbrellas on show to keep ye old blue rinse intact.... I had my face poked with them and nearly had an eye poked out, my fault of course for not having a cattle prod with me...

I did see a little bit of fund raising genius. It came from the crew of the "Jolie Brise 1913" This tall ship had broken part of a mast in a storm while crossing the Atlantic. The crew needed to raise funds to pay for the repair. The were sawing the broken mast into pieces and asking for a minimum donation of £2 to own a piece of the mast. The Jolie Brise is reported to be the oldest tall ship in the race....

I have an old broken Alegro? wonder could I pull the same stunt???

Ahoy There

The Tall Ships have arrived... A cannon going off signaled the start of the four day celebrations.

Tried to walk around to see the ships today (Along with thousands of other people) space is little and if you have the time to queue for ages for the burger or other food that's on sale and pay the hyped up price this is the place to be.

I even bought an ice cream from one of the many vans at £1.50 for a 99, was it worth it?....nah....

Wait and go late, you may be entertained by some drunks I saw, I even had to explain to a guy where the portaloos are as he was urinating into a hedge feet from the main road... (Filth bag) ... and that was at 8.30pm... whats the place going to be like later on.......

NI

I know we're not Brazil we're Norn Ireland... BUT.. we are still part of the UK, so why on the main BBC Sport web site did I have to search the depths of the site to find out what the score was when the English and Scottish scores were highlighted on the the index page. ???????

Oh, by the way the game ended in a 1-1 draw

Baby PETER

I never liked the term Baby P. The child's name was Peter, may he rest in peace. Unless you have been out of this universe you will know the story behind this poor baby (Peter had more than 50 injuries, including fractured ribs and a broken back, when he was found dead in a property in Penshurst Road, Tottenham, in August 2007)
What my post is about today, is the possibility (According to BBC News Website)
is, read the quote. "The notoriety of the Baby Peter case is such that all three convicted people are likely to be given new identities upon release to protect them from vigilante attacks, according to the probation union Napo"

Listen to what the paramedics who attended the house had to say.......

Released from prison and given new identities?... A life sentence should mean life in prison, in cases such as this.... (In my opinion)

Credit Card Fraud

This was part of an email I received today regarding Credit Card Fraud,.... Do you check your cards?

A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.. The bill for the meal came, he signed it, and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along. Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person. He called the waitress and she looked perplexed. She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man. All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card. No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology.
Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.. Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.. Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs... FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!

Drug Scum

How can this government expect a drop in the drugs related crime when they go out of their way to accommodate the scum that walk our earth pedaling drugs and then expect help when the shit hits the fan. This week they (The Government) put their arse out of joint to help a convicted pregnant Briton jailed on drugs charges in Laos to get home to the UK to finish serving her sentence. She is alleged to have laughed when she got off the plane, and is it any wonder?
God bless her unborn child, but I bet I have more concern for the child than she does.
These drugs, cause death, destruction and heartache to many families across the world. So why should our taxes be used to help these drug carriers..... Let them rot in jail in whichever country they are convicted in .... (In my opinion)
The government help this scum while our troops are sent into conflict in all parts of the world' and are put in danger because of the financial restraints imposed on military chiefs...
Yeah it's the right thing to do, lets spend money to help the drug scum....... Roll on the next election.....

Retire @ 70

Just saw the morning news. Some bright spark recons we will have to work until we are 70 before we get our state pension. Since I left school I've work 40 years up to now and thank goodness I'm still working, paid my taxes, national insurance, and still get taxed on things I buy with the money I've already been taxed on, and now I may have to work a lot more years before I can retire... (Don't you just love the government?) I've a two step approach to sort this out.

STEP 1: Let the workers retire and collect their state pension at 60, to give them time to enjoy whats left of life....

STEP 2: Get the benefit cheats (Which are many) off their arses and team them up with the Jailbirds and get them to do the WORK.....

I bet it would even work out cheaper for the powers to be.........

At Last Sun

Wow, yesterday was a lovely day.. at last some sun. I went walking in the country and would have loved to have taken photos of old boy racers as they flew down the country roads, but I was too busy diving into the hedges avoiding them. Why do people think it's only the young that race?.... but it was a beautiful day anyway.... Just look at the blue sky over this new development in County Antrim.

Bus Stop Parking

Have you ever been driving behind a bus when it just stops directly in front of you to pick passengers up, instead of pulling into a stop first. Nine times out of ten it's because some donkey orifice has had no thought for either the bus or the people waiting to board. Think of the difficulty pensioners, mothers and toddlers and people with mobility problems have when the bus cannot get to the kerb.

I was on our good old public transport today and travelling up the Antrim Road, saw this van parked not just at a bus stop but very nearly on it. I would normally smudge out identification marks of vehicles, but this time I thought I'd leave it......

Hi Ho Silver...

For those of you who are old enough to remember The Lone Ranger will also remember his (What would be known today as a catchphrase) Hi Ho Silver Away....
I promised my LSD I would finish off painting the kitchen tonight, all that is still to be done is the sliver edging around the ceiling. I went to get the paint and I felt like the Lone Ranger... I shouted ,,, Hi No Silver... I live to paint another day... (After a visit to B&Q to buy new paint that is)....

Livingston FC

1974 - 2009 .... Looks like my favorite Scottish football club Livingston is going down the tubes, reason money (Or the lack of it should I say). Many a time I travelled home and away to games (When I say home I mean Livingston in West Lothian, or Hamunaptra to those who know the place well) A great family club were I made lots of friends over the years and I have to say I'm sorry to hear of the clubs financial crisis.
I was on their website to find out what the latest bizz was and noticed that the main advertisement is for....well, I'll let you see for yourself......

Debt Advisory.... I wonder did they give them a call ???????

Shopping Games

While I'm out shopping with my little swamp duck I would normally entertain myself by people watching. Yesterday we were out at Forestside and M&S got a visit... I got bored with "What do you think of this, what do you think of that" (Not that it ever maters what I think)... Anyway, as I said "I got bored" walking around ladies fashions mostly filled by the blue rinse brigade.. I thought I'd have a bit of fun by a huge mirror, I lifted a skirt off a nearby rail and held it against myself in front of the mirror, I gave it the up, down side to side look with a wow look on my bake.
The look on the faces of close by BRB members was just priceless.... Happy days a new shopping game to play now, may try footwear next. (Bring on the stilettos)

Oh What A Gay Day

Went into the city centre yesterday for some shopping and lunch. The annual gay pride parade was taking place so I thought I'd check it out as there should be lots of colour. The PSNI were out in force (No, not in the parade) I asked a PSNI officer what time the parade would pass and he said "Who knows" (On the ball or what) Anyway, heard the whistles and vehicle horns blowing and spotted the parade coming so I said to the same PSNI officer "Here they come now" (Just in case he wasn't sure) Colourful it was, some lorry's and trailers decorated and loads of people waving and blowing whistles from the trailers, people walking around with signs saying things like Free Hugs (I never asked for one in case you were wondering) The parade lasted around 15 minutes with lots of the Saturday shoppers watching on, some with their approving smiles and some with their disapproving growls, others just went on about their business...

I always have my camera with me and I love to see carnival like parades in the city centre (Orange, Green or Pink, I don't care what colour) There was lots of colour in this parade but I have to say there was the odd one who spoiled the day by either carrying a rude sign (In my opinion) or displaying a rude gesture.. Does their cause no good....

Oh yes and there was the odd dog in the parade... (Woof woof type that is)

Pet Names

Close to 30 years married my little swamp duck still to this day loves to shower me with gifts, and those who know me can understand why. She loves to buy me things that not only reflect my personality but also replicate the pet name she has for me..

I have to say "She struck gold this time with this bottle of Shiraz"......

Here I was

So here I was sitting upstairs on the bus waiting for it to leave it's stop by the City Hall. More passengers started to come up to the top deck and this young guy sat down in a seat just in front of me. I felt safe from being biten by vampires as the stench of garlic coming from his direction was awful.. I did consider moving but thought I'd sit it out and cough for a while.... This dame sat behind me and it wasn't too long before her 80's ring tone started to blast out from her handbag. What ever happened to "I'll call you back, I'm on the bus" .. she went into this full conversation about people in her office at a volume I'm sure the driver was able to hear (And he was on the lower deck), at one point she lost the signal, and the person rang her back... How often have you lost a mobile signal and when you get reconnected the first thing you ask is "What happened there?" That sort of question is ok as long as you were talking to a mobile phone engineer in the first place. She answered the phone with... you got it..."What happened there.. the dame was still on the phone three miles later but did tell her caller to hold on as she was about to get off the bus. I'd love to know where she worked as I'd call the office and tell them the gossip.... As for garlic bake I noticed the paint on the roof above him starting to blister as I my stop approached

BACK SOON

Happy Snapper

I just love taking photos... Got a new snapper (Camera) so, I'm button pressing at whatever. My cat tigger is getting fed up with me snapping her (I can tell) this is the latest pic... Looks like she 's asking "What now?"

It's Saturday

Saturday has arrived so I thought as the weather forecast was for heavy rain hill walking was out. As I wanted to get some exercise in and still have plenty of time left to enjoy the day I thought I'd get up early and go swimming. (Seeing I had a few last night) Up at 6 ish, looked out the window and it looked nice but damp. Got showered and dressed and on the cycle by 7am. It was amazing how many people haven't even made it home from their Friday night out. On the way into town going past the old cricket ground, there were trainee thugs still drinking and making merry (I decided to pedal faster in case they wanted to include me in their merriment) and cycling up Royal Avenue there were bodies lying on city benches with their empty carryouts close by.. (Ah, those were the day's).....

Police Appeal

Way to go.. Photos, then name and shame. Here is a link to a BBC News website page, http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8097911.stm the PSNI have appealed for the names of persons (Morons) they want to talk to in relation to riots in the so called Holyland.
Please visit the link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8097911.stm and read the story.
If you recognise anyone in the photograph (Some butes I have to say) get on the blower to the PSNI..... Could be wrong, but it may do the Police some good if they look around Queens..... As I said, I could be wrong though!

A Little Humour

Three men married wives from different countries.

The first man married a woman from Italy . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Sweden . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from NORN IRELAND . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

TAKE HEED GUYS

Nice Car Shame About The Blonde

Could not believe it (OK I do) I was walking through town tonight during the evening rush hour when I spotted this blonde texting while driving at a main intersection in the city centre, and she continued to text while she drove and negotiated a right hand turn at traffic lights. What a bimbo..... Nice car though

It's Getting Harder

I'm finding it harder to find the time to blog (Or so it seems anyway) but I'm still alive (@ the moment) in case you wondered where I was. With all the good weather lately I've been out and about, and last week I ventured up to Belfast Zoo (Don't entirely agree with zoo's but went anyway) It has been years since I've went and the first thing I saw was the whole new entrance, looks pretty well may I say. After entry I saw the old Floral Hall... Looking at it, it was hard to imagine the place use to be a dance hall before it was used as an animal shelter...(Although knowing some of the clampets who use to go there, it may have been one from the very start)
The place is so far up the hill I'm sure people were done out before they even got their first dance or their 99.... There must have been an ice cream van parked outside? as I heard my brothers say a few times that when they got to the Floral Hall "It used to be, get the girl, go twice around the dance floor, then outside for a poke" (I was too young to go, so I wouldn't know)

What I did laugh at was a sign in the car park saying "Please remember where you park" Really ?... It is worth a visit I have to say.. Oh yes! there are some beautiful animals there...

Bank Holiday Monday

Day off work, yeah but only in the employment sense. I'm still in the process of getting the area ready for my new greenhouse. I have already started by building the base for it and the door (Just to get things moving) The area for it will need leveled but I'm unsure if I went flag stones, bricks or just the straight forward earth... Whichever I choose it will still need leveled. So I'm using the garage to store the pre-built stuff.
What I have got as a new addition to the garden is a solar powered bird bath (More like a bird shower) but is nice and if we get some sunshine during the summer we will have loads of clean birds flying about my garden (If the cat allows it, that is)

May Day Parade

Today my LSD and I decided to hit the City Centre for a dander and some lunch. Thought, bank holiday weekend there shouldn't be much traffic. Great clear roads until we hit the centre. The PSNI had roads around the centre closed as the Union's May Day Parade was taking part. It didn't take long. a few bands a few people walking behind them carrying banners and flags and one guy carrying a Russian flag (I have to say he looked like he wasn't old enough even to work, let alone be in a union)

The City was also hiving with street entertainers, from the Dirty White Rabbit playing the keyboard at Cornmarket to comedy groups, musicians and this musical trio I saw in Victoria Square... The City Centre is the place to spend a Saturday believe me......

Bill Posters

I wonder which one of these two defacers is called Bill?. As if the city isn't bad enough with litter bugs, we also have to put up with guys like this who have nothing better to do than stick up posters usually for unknown music groups that you need to blocked to listen too, and more than likely the posters end up blowing around the streets and left for someone else to clean up.

Anyway, if guys like these are caught breaking the by-laws of the city, they should be not just fined but made to do community service by removing posters from around the city centre for a start.

Speaking of Squareports

After yesterdays post, I've now read, from today the George Best City Airport is not allowing motorists or taxis (Not based at the airport) to drop off or collect passengers outside the main terminal. A £1 surcharge will be imposed on taxis based at the airport. People hiring a taxi based at the airport will have the £1 surcharge past onto them through the fare. The £1 surcharge has been imposed by the GBCA. What will be interesting is, will they charge each passenger a £1 or is it a £1 per fare. (See also: Drop off ban arrives)
I have stopped using the airport taxi's anyway, as I found them unpleasant and in my experience they make you feel like a hindrance if you are only going into the city centre instead of further afield. Maybe now they'll be glad of any business.... (Still wont be mine though)

Belfast International Squareport

A news item regarding Belfast International Airport caught my attention today while surfing the BBC News website. The security staff at the airport had "a complete lack of consideration for those with mobility problems". Read the article
This happens all around the place. I witnessed a lady (Who has mobility problems) ask an outside security person at the terminal building at the George Best City Airport if she could get her local taxi to pick her up outside the building. She was told no and she had to walk to the portacabin at the short stay car park and wait. Not even a chair in the portacabin... How considerate
Anyway, I'm off to BIA tomorrow morning to pick some people up. I haven't been at the airport in ages so I thought I'd visit their website and check for any changes in parking arrangements. I went straight for the FAQs section. I can only say that even I was surprised at the most popular FAQs: (Even for Northern Ireland) Can I pack my souvenir Samurai sword in my hand luggage?

Mystery Shopper

I have to say my LSD must be the best mystery shopper.. It's just a mystery to me how she knows how to get the bargains. We went to good old Tescos as she had to get some food stuffs and I had to get a little speaker for iPod's, mp3 players even works on the laptops.. In fact they work on any audio unit with a 3.5mm jack plug (You even get a 2.5mm converter, just in case) Anyway... they had been reduced in price last week from £19.98 to £ 9.98.. We were told tonight by one of Tescos staff that the speakers had gone back up to full price (I had seen them in a high street store in London last week at over £24.00) LSD said to me to lift one and use one of the in store scanners... Hey Presto.. it showed £9.98.. (Happy Days. I bought three, one for me and two for a friend)
I then fancied some North Belfast champagne to drink later, they had an offer on but none were sitting on the shelf. LSD once again gets a member of staff to go and look "Out the back" as she calls it. (Kitchen house reared you see) It's so refreshing not to hear the usual "If it's not out, we don't have it" they looked, they saw and I was amazed... out came the champagne... (Getting into it when this blog has been updated......

The Power Of The Sun

No, this it's not about the newspaper or global warming. It about how good the nice weather makes you feel. No mater who I was speaking to over the last few days it was evident that the good weather made them feel great.
I enjoyed sitting out in the garden, listening to the birds singing and of course having some sparkling water.... But I'm still Grumpy.
Is it any wonder after watching the football yesterday. One thing though, I'm glad I wasn't one of those supporters who paid a little fortune to travel to the game and pay in to see their manager put a, well lets just say it didn't do what it said on the tin team. It's like paying to see a top band in concert only to find out it's a tribute band.... and they're miming at that....

Wotsits Or Wine?

Read yet another interesting article online, but this one is of special interest to me (Seeing I'm trying to keep weight off, and I drink wine) The article headline says "Average wine drinker puts on half a stone of fat a year, says campaign group" Apparently wine does what it says in the headline. Here are some statistics that I'll try and remember.. Hic!
Large glass (250ml) of average strength red wine = 214 calories = one bag of Cheesy Wotsits.
A bottle of average strength red wine = 644 calories = 14 jaffa cakes or McDonald's Cheeseburger and medium fries.
Large glass of medium dry white wine = 190 calories = two and a half digestive biscuits.
One pint of premium lager = 330 calories = one four ounce fillet steak
One pint of cider = 200 calories = one KFC chicken drumstick
source: Human Nutrition Research and weightlossresources.co.uk
Scary to read... Anyway I'm off to pour myself another glass of Cheesy Wotsits. followed by a glass of McDonald's Cheeseburger and medium fries...Hic!

Space Cadets

We meet space cadets everyday of our existence, but have you ever given time and stopped to think what it must be like to be a real live Space Cadet... (Nah, me neither)... I just needed some sort of a lead in to the web link I'm going to post. It shows the time scale and the building of the International Space Station. Whether or not you're interested in space, this is worth a look.... Who knows perhaps someday it could be trundling earthwards towards you and a least you'll know what the hell is coming...... (CLICK ON THE PICTURE)

Wedding Dance

This is for all the in love people who are planning their wedding. You've picked the date, picked the venue, picked where the reception is to be held and possibly even picked the grub everyone is going to eat. What about the entertainment? two piece band?, group?, karaoke? or Disco?. If you have chosen the later, "CHECK THIS OUT"
Go on, you know you really want to do it at your wedding..... If you are going to do it I'll bring my camcorder........

A Green Day Today

My LSD bought me a greenhouse today. It's something I've wanted since moving to our present address. I opened the flat pack to find the instructions.. (AGGGHHHHHHHH) hundreds of parts to be checked.... It took me ages (Not the brightest you see) Hooray, all parts present and correct. Now to find the time. and a sunny day or two to put them all together.
(Fun times ahead, but I know she can do it)

Please Be Quite

This post goes out to those of my friends and colleagues who think I've lost the power to put weight on.

LAST WEEK, A HALF POUND ON

THIS WEEK, FOUR AND A HALF POUND ON

There, thanks for your concern now, please back off and leave me to it.......

Dumping Dogs

Spotted these two dogs running around a common in Cambridge, they had their two big white husky looking pets with them. The common is a place by the river where families walk and play, considerate dog owners carry poop scoops and plastic bags for you know what. These two couldn't have give a crap themselves, the dogs just dumped their winalot and ran off to play. One of the humans with them walked over to the drop zone and I thought she was going to do the right thing and pick it up, but alas, she just stopped, studied the deposit for a lot of seconds then merrily dandered off. Perhaps she goes to Cambridge University and is reading you know what.....

The Return Flight

Thought I'd treat you to a wee taste of the return flight. Never added any music (Copyright etc) The take off and flight were good but the approach and landing, well lets just say the jury's out on that one (Coming in up the lough is a bit windy at the best of times) but I wasn't sure if we had landed or were shot down..... lol ... only joking it was fine. I've also put this video up unto YouTube (Grumpyhead55)

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport..A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.He decides because she 's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for,thereby impressing her greatly.He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'.
The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto
'Winning the hearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries one last time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto
"Going beyond expectations.
The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the fec do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face................... "Ryanair"

Budget Transport

I'm sure like me you have used so called budget airlines at sometime. Last Saturday LSD and I traveled to London Stansted on the first flight out with Ryanair. Flight left at 06:30 which meant we were up out of bed around 04:30. Got our seats on the flight and I thought for the first time ever I'd have something to eat on the flight. I ordered two breakfast baps (For me and my lsd) at a cost of £5 each. The drinks trolley came around and I ordered a diet coke (£1:80) for a tiny tin and was told the baps would be another ten minutes. They arrived within two, my lsd said to me that her breakfast bap was cold in the centre. I bit into mine to find the omlette was still frozen in the middle. (I nearly boaked) I called the steward down and pointed out the fact that both were inedible. "I'll reheat them" he said. (Not even an offer of two fresh ones. No you won't, I'd like a refund. He said they can't give refunds and that I'd have to write to Customer Services in Dublin. I asked him for proof of purchase and that too was beyond him. So, I'd written the fact on my boarding sheet and asked him to sign it, he refused. Then as if magic he returned with a receipt. Strange that isn't it.



(Lesson learnt)

New Drink

I frequently research the Internet for new things to add to my ever growing list of foods I can eat and drink to help me in my new life style,of the reduced me.
I found a mention of a new fizzy drink online, but I'm not sure if they do a light/diet version of it. Check it out in case you can help?

21 Lines To Make You Smile

1.. My Wife and I divorced over religious differences,she thought she was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot - - Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
18. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
20. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
21.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

Sore Bum Bum

Nearly wrecked myself at the swimming pool this week. I had made a little promise to myself that when (And if) I started blogging again I wouldn't mention anything about my weight loss, well I think this is funny. I'd been at the pool for my daily swim, when it came time for me to get out, my path (Watery as it was) was occupied by a lot of tourists. Me being from Gods own area of this wonderful Island, didn't want to be ignorant by forcing my way through to the steps. (The steps being the ladder out of the pool) I have always found this the easiest way to exit the pool as leaving via the pool edge (because of my bulk) took a lot of upper body strength and about three attempts. But needs must so I got myself in the frame of mind and went for it, back to the edge, arms bent and a power lift. I used the same power as I would have before I lost the seven and a half stone. To my surprise I shot out of the water like a penguin being chased by a killer whale. I landed full force on my arse at the side of the pool (Wonder has that ever happened to a penguin?, no not at the pool) I thought my tail bone was broken to the amusement of the ones who just happened to be watching. I tried the same move yesterday with the same result.
Perhaps I'm just getting stronger...

Soccer

I'm sure it's the same in most sports, but the hate between fans of soccer in my opinion, would be at the top. We are into the closing stages of the champions league and my facebook has become a place of taunt between some of my friends who follow Liverpool FC / Manchester United .... They even went as far as using the application "The Teams I Hate With A Passion ". Now that's sad, even for them. The word HATE is described in the Oxford Dictionary as:

• verb feel intense dislike for or a strong aversion towards.
• noun 1 intense dislike; strong aversion. 2 informal a disliked person or thing. 3 before a noun denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice: a hate campaign.
— DERIVATIVES hatable (also hateable) adjective hater noun.

Don't get me wrong, I like soccer, and I have the teams I prefer, but in all honesty, I can't say I hate any of the others. If my teams win or lose (They sometimes lose) it makes no difference in my life whatsoever. So I just don't understand the problem. I think some people just love to get annoyed, they look for stuff to offended them. The idea of paying mega pennies in travel, gate tickets etc, just to go along and watch soccer, get my blood pressure to boiling point, ruin my day if my team is beaten, just does not appeal to me.
Do you think for one moment that the superstars of these teams, who are getting paid mega pennies (Thanks to you and people like you) worry about how our lives are effected by their off days when they have a bad game and are beaten, especially when they drive home in their top of the range sports car to their luxury pad? (I don't think so) ...... Think about it....

Weekend Report

You may think a weekend report is a bit late on a Monday night, well, I can tell you I've had no time to blog until now. The weekend started for me on Friday lunch time. I had a half day and organised for my Son In Law to meet me for lunch. The Street was the venue for lunch and we had a sandwich before going for an afternoon social drink. RGB @ the Park Inn was the place I wanted him to see. I'd been in there before for a quick one (Drink) so fancied a relaxing one or two. As we walked through the bar I pointed out the big comfy chairs where I wished to plant my rear on. S-I-L sat down and I went to the bar to order. I was alone at the bar with a member of staff sorting glasses. I stood for four minutes before she grabbed a tray and went off to collect more dirty glasses. On her return she continued to ignore me so I had to say "Excuse me, are you closed" She said she never saw me. (Collecting the wrong glasses I thought). I asked for two small bottles of red to which she told me "We have none" .. I just got S-I-L and left. Morrison's here we come. We were joined later by our swamp ducks and it was planned to go out for dinner. Byblos (No web link earned) was the chosen venue when we got there we were told (And not in a very polite way may I add) we couldn't have a table as they were fully booked. I could only see two tables with anyone at them and loads of empty tables. They just didn't want our business it seems. I did say to the woman who didn't want our money, "It's no wonder small businesses go down the tubes turning away ready business" If they don't, I can say it wont be with the help of my money. I'll not be back.

Olio's got our money and well worth a visit, the meal was fantastic. I'll be back

The rest of the weekend went great.......

Security Alert

Another security alert has just been cleared in West Belfast. A suspicious object was spotted inside a parked car.
It was declared safe after the object turned out to be a tax disc.

Animal Rights

Now I'm all for animal right but I do believe we have to draw the line when a police officer was sent to investigate a complaint about a dormouse awoken out or it's hibernation for a photo shoot. Read the news...
Never mind the crime on our streets as long as the dormouse gets his or her kip.. (Sleep)
Wonder is this just a April Fool?

Talking about mice. The early bird may get the worm, but it's always the second mouse that gets the cheese.. (Think about it)

Heard On A Plane

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in economy yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

Go on, SMILE

Like Old Times

It was like old times tonight going home from work. The bad old times that is. Listening to traffic and travel about the roads that are closed due to security alerts. It made me think the places that were mention in the bulletin were in fact close to cop shops. "Right" I thought to myself, how can get home without having to go near theses alerts. I was doing quite well until I got to the Oldpark. car's turning ahead, that can only mean one thing. I was right. Police car across the road and of course the usual tape from lamp to lamp. I was nearly home. I thought I'd nip through Ardyone and loop back. All's going well yet again til I get into Etna Drive, and an old site brought a tear to my eye. There was a van smoldering at the end of the drive. (Memories)
I never stopped to take a photo for the blog, I'm sure you understand why.... But I found a picture of the said van on a news website

Norn Iron

Good old Norn Iron (Northern Ireland) a result of 3 - 2 against Poland. First time since 1991 they've beaten Poland. Pity the game had it's fair share of the mindless oil tankers, who were only there to cause trouble (Both sides) including the ficko who threw something (May have been his last remaining brain cell) at one of the officials. It was reported he was identified and expelled from the ground at half time. (I wonder did he get a smacked bottom?) as I sure our justice system will let him away with a "Who's a bad boy then"....

The final whistle had just been blown when I got the following text message.

Ticket £20, Program £5, Replica Shirt £38, Drink & Food £15

Watching Boruc making a complete arse of things......... PRICELESS

Time Springs Forward

Don't forget, this is the time of year we are in for another change in time. I'm sure you know of the old saying "Fall back and spring forward" Tonight (Well, 1am tomorrow morning to be precise) we put our clocks forward (Spring) -3600 seconds, or 60 minutes, or even 1 hour the choice is down to you. (But you'll still be transported in time to the next hour whichever you choose)

I heard on the News the WWF is having an Earth Hour tonight. I checked out there website to the headline "On Saturday 28 March 2009 at 8.30pm, people, businesses and iconic buildings around the world will switch off their lights for an hour – WWF’s Earth Hour"

I hate the dark, so I'm going to put off my Earth Hour until 1 am tomorrow morning then I'll not be left in the dark (Get it?)

Anyway, I was thinking what the hell do wrestlers know about climate change?

Manchester Stupnited Fan

As if the poor old Man U fans haven't had enough grief over the last few weeks. (Me being one) I read this article about a fan who did some cyber romancing on good old Bakebook, only to be..... (Well I'll let you read the article for yourself)
Though I think Stuart may have the last laugh at the end of the season..... COM ON THE DEVILS

Vision De-press

Left my prescription swimming goggles at the gym and no one handed them in. Now unless the squib who lifted them has the same bad eyesight as moi (Me) they are useless. The only good thing is he or she may bang their head because the end of the pool looks further away than it really is. Back to the story... I went around to Vision Express and ordered a new pair.. They had the lens in but not the rubber seals that fit around them. I was told it would take three days and they would phone me when they are in... I phoned today (11 days later) "Yes they're ready"... I walked to collect them.. I asked the girl where the rubber eye seals are? "There in the bag" she said. Back at the office I thought I'd fit the seals (As the lazy people never) THE SEALS ARE NOT IN THE BAG...
On the phone again, I'm told (After having to wait) "There's a set here".. I said they can stay there I'm coming back and I would like my money back... My parting words were class..
"I should have gone to Specsavers"... lol

Put The Mockers On

Have you ever heard the saying "Put the mockers on?". Well not only have I heard it but I experienced the saying and it's effects today. Someone past comment about having problems with my vehicle on the way home. I said "Oh don't put the scud on" (Same thing as mockers)
It happened. Had fuel problems and held up a couple of hours... THANKS A BUNDLE.....

Mother's Day

Thought I'd treat my LSD with breakfast in bed (Including a glass of buck fizz) seeing it's Mother's Day. As an extra treat I thought I'd take the new Ikea cooker hood out of it's box so she could fit it when she gets up out of bed.
Only joking.
(She can leave it to next weekend)

Quote Of The Day

My little swamp duck and I settled down to watch the Rugby (Wales v Ireland) I have never known her to be so engrossed in a rugby game before. Boy did she will the Irish on. The quote of the day came as Tommy Bowe crossed the line in between the posts for Irelands second try.... My little swamp duck (Bless her) Shouts........GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Seat Guru

I'm sure those of you who travel by air have visited SeatGuru at sometime or other to check out which are the best (And worse) seats on the aircraft you intent to travel on. I was thinking of starting it for our lovely public transport system. Though, no mater which bus you are herded onto, one seat is as uncomfortable as the next. But the seats you really want to avoid are the ones that face the rear of the bus. You can guarantee some squib has stuck his big dirty kebs up on them. I caught the 06.50 bus this morning and just had to sit at the rear to get this photo for my blog.