Saturday, 7 November 2009
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Friday, 25 September 2009
The show started at 19:45 (Quarter to eight) about 10 - 15 minutes into the show these six dames (Yes, they did look as if they were out of a panto) came waltzing in and three of them sat in the seats in the row directly in front of us. They shuffled about to make themselves comfortable, took their coats off and then.... took their mobiles out and started to text..... (I had thought they were going to turn them off).. then they starting talking .... one of the phones rang and they answered the call and started talking... All while the show was going on... That was it.....
I asked them was there any chance of me hearing the show, the one in the middle turned around to start a staring contest with me. (She abused the privilege of being ugly let me tell you) It lasted about 4 secs, I Won. They didn't open their cake hole the rest of the night, it was obvious they don't often get out.
I enjoyed the show anyway
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies ( don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and should you do so the burglar would sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
Sunday, 6 September 2009
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Friday, 4 September 2009
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies:
...... "Nah thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here"
Thursday, 3 September 2009
I wonder how many calorie's it added.....
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
The following is a quote from the page.
What I would like to know, what were the fines ????? (In my opinion, I bet they were not enough)
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Written by a 15 yr. old School Kid in Ohio:
New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME!)
Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer Are not allowed in Schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned...
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom thing..
The law is specific, the law is precise...
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
We can carry smut, but not the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot;
My soul please take! ......Amen
Well? what do you think?
Friday, 28 August 2009
Thursday, 27 August 2009
"Eddie, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Eddie says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. "
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Sunday, 23 August 2009
Like Tom, a kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night is a daily routine for me and I always wipe the mirror straight after..
I can say though I never go to sleep with an argument open.... I stay up and fight the bitch alnight if I have too....
Thursday, 20 August 2009
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family five or six Generations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .' The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the Floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the Old Folks Home
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Do we really know who the hell is inside the suit? The reason I thought I'd blog on this brings me back to the Tall Shits (Oops Ships)
This good old friendly bear (Photo) was walking around shaking hands, patting kids on heads and getting hugs. Later the same bear was observed (By not only myself but by a couple of my work colleagues) going into a public portable toilet marked disabled, along with its two young female handlers. The trio stayed in the loo for at least 40 minutes before leaving. (I suppose to shake more hands and pat more heads) What were they doing in the den for that length of time?. your guess is as good as mine.
Hug the bear, NO BLOODY WAY...
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Monday, 17 August 2009
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Friday, 14 August 2009
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Oh, by the way the game ended in a 1-1 draw
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
What my post is about today, is the possibility (According to BBC News Website)
is, read the quote. "The notoriety of the Baby Peter case is such that all three convicted people are likely to be given new identities upon release to protect them from vigilante attacks, according to the probation union Napo"
Listen to what the paramedics who attended the house had to say.......
Released from prison and given new identities?... A life sentence should mean life in prison, in cases such as this.... (In my opinion)
Sunday, 9 August 2009
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.. The bill for the meal came, he signed it, and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along. Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person. He called the waitress and she looked perplexed. She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man. All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card. No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology.
Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.. Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.. Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs... FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!
Saturday, 8 August 2009
God bless her unborn child, but I bet I have more concern for the child than she does.
These drugs, cause death, destruction and heartache to many families across the world. So why should our taxes be used to help these drug carriers..... Let them rot in jail in whichever country they are convicted in .... (In my opinion)
The government help this scum while our troops are sent into conflict in all parts of the world' and are put in danger because of the financial restraints imposed on military chiefs...
Yeah it's the right thing to do, lets spend money to help the drug scum....... Roll on the next election.....
STEP 1: Let the workers retire and collect their state pension at 60, to give them time to enjoy whats left of life....
STEP 2: Get the benefit cheats (Which are many) off their arses and team them up with the Jailbirds and get them to do the WORK.....
I bet it would even work out cheaper for the powers to be.........
Friday, 7 August 2009
Thursday, 6 August 2009
I promised my LSD I would finish off painting the kitchen tonight, all that is still to be done is the sliver edging around the ceiling. I went to get the paint and I felt like the Lone Ranger... I shouted ,,, Hi No Silver... I live to paint another day... (After a visit to B&Q to buy new paint that is)....
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
I was on their website to find out what the latest bizz was and noticed that the main advertisement is for....well, I'll let you see for yourself......
Debt Advisory.... I wonder did they give them a call ???????
Monday, 3 August 2009
The look on the faces of close by BRB members was just priceless.... Happy days a new shopping game to play now, may try footwear next. (Bring on the stilettos)
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Friday, 31 July 2009
I have to say "She struck gold this time with this bottle of Shiraz"......
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Monday, 15 June 2009
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Friday, 12 June 2009
Please visit the link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/8097911.stm and read the story.
If you recognise anyone in the photograph (Some butes I have to say) get on the blower to the PSNI..... Could be wrong, but it may do the Police some good if they look around Queens..... As I said, I could be wrong though!
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
The second man married a woman from Sweden . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from NORN IRELAND . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
Monday, 8 June 2009
Saturday, 6 June 2009
The place is so far up the hill I'm sure people were done out before they even got their first dance or their 99.... There must have been an ice cream van parked outside? as I heard my brothers say a few times that when they got to the Floral Hall "It used to be, get the girl, go twice around the dance floor, then outside for a poke" (I was too young to go, so I wouldn't know)
What I did laugh at was a sign in the car park saying "Please remember where you park" Really ?... It is worth a visit I have to say.. Oh yes! there are some beautiful animals there...
Monday, 4 May 2009
What I have got as a new addition to the garden is a solar powered bird bath (More like a bird shower) but is nice and if we get some sunshine during the summer we will have loads of clean birds flying about my garden (If the cat allows it, that is)
Saturday, 2 May 2009
Friday, 1 May 2009
Anyway, if guys like these are caught breaking the by-laws of the city, they should be not just fined but made to do community service by removing posters from around the city centre for a start.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
I have stopped using the airport taxi's anyway, as I found them unpleasant and in my experience they make you feel like a hindrance if you are only going into the city centre instead of further afield. Maybe now they'll be glad of any business.... (Still wont be mine though)
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
This happens all around the place. I witnessed a lady (Who has mobility problems) ask an outside security person at the terminal building at the George Best City Airport if she could get her local taxi to pick her up outside the building. She was told no and she had to walk to the portacabin at the short stay car park and wait. Not even a chair in the portacabin... How considerate
Anyway, I'm off to BIA tomorrow morning to pick some people up. I haven't been at the airport in ages so I thought I'd visit their website and check for any changes in parking arrangements. I went straight for the FAQs section. I can only say that even I was surprised at the most popular FAQs: (Even for Northern Ireland) Can I pack my souvenir Samurai sword in my hand luggage?
Thursday, 23 April 2009
I then fancied some North Belfast champagne to drink later, they had an offer on but none were sitting on the shelf. LSD once again gets a member of staff to go and look "Out the back" as she calls it. (Kitchen house reared you see) It's so refreshing not to hear the usual "If it's not out, we don't have it" they looked, they saw and I was amazed... out came the champagne... (Getting into it when this blog has been updated......
Monday, 20 April 2009
I enjoyed sitting out in the garden, listening to the birds singing and of course having some sparkling water.... But I'm still Grumpy.
Is it any wonder after watching the football yesterday. One thing though, I'm glad I wasn't one of those supporters who paid a little fortune to travel to the game and pay in to see their manager put a, well lets just say it didn't do what it said on the tin team. It's like paying to see a top band in concert only to find out it's a tribute band.... and they're miming at that....
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Large glass (250ml) of average strength red wine = 214 calories = one bag of Cheesy Wotsits.
A bottle of average strength red wine = 644 calories = 14 jaffa cakes or McDonald's Cheeseburger and medium fries.
Large glass of medium dry white wine = 190 calories = two and a half digestive biscuits.
One pint of premium lager = 330 calories = one four ounce fillet steak
One pint of cider = 200 calories = one KFC chicken drumstick
source: Human Nutrition Research and weightlossresources.co.uk
Scary to read... Anyway I'm off to pour myself another glass of Cheesy Wotsits. followed by a glass of McDonald's Cheeseburger and medium fries...Hic!
Saturday, 18 April 2009
Friday, 17 April 2009
Go on, you know you really want to do it at your wedding..... If you are going to do it I'll bring my camcorder........
Thursday, 16 April 2009
(Fun times ahead, but I know she can do it)
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
LAST WEEK, A HALF POUND ON
THIS WEEK, FOUR AND A HALF POUND ON
There, thanks for your concern now, please back off and leave me to it.......
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Monday, 13 April 2009
A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport..A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.He decides because she 's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for,thereby impressing her greatly.He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'.
The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto
'Winning the hearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries one last time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto
"Going beyond expectations.
The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the fec do you want?'
'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face................... "Ryanair"
Sunday, 12 April 2009
I found a mention of a new fizzy drink online, but I'm not sure if they do a light/diet version of it. Check it out in case you can help?
Saturday, 11 April 2009
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot - - Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
18. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
19. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
20. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
21.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
Friday, 10 April 2009
Perhaps I'm just getting stronger...
Thursday, 9 April 2009
• verb feel intense dislike for or a strong aversion towards.
• noun 1 intense dislike; strong aversion. 2 informal a disliked person or thing. 3 before a noun denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice: a hate campaign.
— DERIVATIVES hatable (also hateable) adjective hater noun.
Don't get me wrong, I like soccer, and I have the teams I prefer, but in all honesty, I can't say I hate any of the others. If my teams win or lose (They sometimes lose) it makes no difference in my life whatsoever. So I just don't understand the problem. I think some people just love to get annoyed, they look for stuff to offended them. The idea of paying mega pennies in travel, gate tickets etc, just to go along and watch soccer, get my blood pressure to boiling point, ruin my day if my team is beaten, just does not appeal to me.
Do you think for one moment that the superstars of these teams, who are getting paid mega pennies (Thanks to you and people like you) worry about how our lives are effected by their off days when they have a bad game and are beaten, especially when they drive home in their top of the range sports car to their luxury pad? (I don't think so) ...... Think about it....
Monday, 6 April 2009
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Never mind the crime on our streets as long as the dormouse gets his or her kip.. (Sleep)
Wonder is this just a April Fool?
Talking about mice. The early bird may get the worm, but it's always the second mouse that gets the cheese.. (Think about it)
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in economy yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
Go on, SMILE
Monday, 30 March 2009
I never stopped to take a photo for the blog, I'm sure you understand why.... But I found a picture of the said van on a news website
Sunday, 29 March 2009
The final whistle had just been blown when I got the following text message.
Ticket £20, Program £5, Replica Shirt £38, Drink & Food £15
Watching Boruc making a complete arse of things......... PRICELESS
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Friday, 27 March 2009
Though I think Stuart may have the last laugh at the end of the season..... COM ON THE DEVILS
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
On the phone again, I'm told (After having to wait) "There's a set here".. I said they can stay there I'm coming back and I would like my money back... My parting words were class..
"I should have gone to Specsavers"... lol
Monday, 23 March 2009
It happened. Had fuel problems and held up a couple of hours... THANKS A BUNDLE.....
Sunday, 22 March 2009
(She can leave it to next weekend)