Sunday, 31 August 2008


Nothing to do with Christmas, well I suppose I'll be told it's part of my Christmas box. I got the laptop I was looking for at PC World. After researching on the www I found out all the tech spec and even how to switch on the web cam (Not that I've ever used one before)
I was going to nip round to Curry's and show them how to work the Advent 4211
It's a great wee notebook weighing in at 1.2kgs.. (Just a little bit lighter than me)

Saturday, 30 August 2008

Bad Day For A Curry

My LSD took me out today to look at laptops as she knew I was looking for a small one to take with me when I'm on the move. I saw a couple when I was in Scotland, but I prefer to buy at home (Fool, that I am) so if there is any problems the product is easily returned.
First stop Curry's at Newtownabbey. Spotted the one I fancied (Been looking online) but couldn't get the built in web cam working... (I wanted to see the quality)
I asked one of Curry's finest to show me how to switch the web cam on, he couldn't.... He went and asked another of the IT elite and came back with the excuse ... "It has to be online before it works"... I pointed out that he may be wrong (ONLY MAY) and I think they should each fine out about a product before trying to sell it... "You've just lost the sale, I'm off to PC World" and left him standing with a bewildered look on his bake.
I went home to check it out again online. There's always tomorrow.. (I hope)

Friday, 29 August 2008

Holy Water

Another story to read. (To think I was worried about carrying aftershave in my hand luggage last weekend flying to Scotland...)

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

It Had To Happen

Pay back for the last fortnight of the over indulging. Weighed in tonight with a Pound On No complaints, all down to me being bad. It's the first time since I started my Slimming World plan in January that I've put any weight on, and I knew I'd gone overboard from the plan.

6 Stone 10 lb off

Back to basics now to get the 4 lb off I need for target

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Heading Home

Put the location into my Garmin and off to Prestwick to catch the flight home. I had changed the route to shortest (Big mistake) it took me off the motorway and in through the back streets of Glasgow. Got stopped at every traffic light en route. It may have been the shortest route but it certainly wasn't the quickest... (Lesson learnt)
Got to the GBC Airport and my LSD had to go straight into work so I thought we would just get a airport taxi instead of phoning one. Second mistake of the day. At least Dick Turpin wore a mask. £10 into the city centre and the moron dropped us off on the wrong side of the road. NO TIP.

Monday, 25 August 2008

Edinburgh Day

Must have been a good night last night, received a text from a friend replying to a text I had sent. Had to check my sent items to see what I had sent?. Headed down to Ocean Terminal before going into Edinburgh for the day. Princes Street is a great place for people watching (While the ladies shop) with the Edinburgh fringe near it's end there were a lot of blokes wondering around dressed as if Braveheart was about to be remade (Maybe not, no sign of Mel Gibson) Just men in skirts.

Back for another wonderful quite night in...

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Glasgow Day

Went into Glasgow for a days shopping... (Points needed) First stop the Barrowland Market. This is a place I used to love to go and browse around and listen to the local lingo Jockanese. Haven't been their in years. What a shock I got, the place is so run down now and a lot of the marketeers have thrown the towel in (No pun intended) and packed up.
Off to the Buchanan Galleries for a relaxing shopping experience. (Yeah right) Put the location onto my Garmin and it took me straight there. Great bit of kit.

Back to Livingston and a lovely lamb dinner, wine and cheese... happy days.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Off To Jockland

My daughter picked us up this morning and off to the George Best City Airport we went. (Hand luggage and hangover) Onto our 12.25 Ryanair flight to Prestwick. 22 minute flight (fantastic)
The only problem was the music playing while passengers were boarding and disembarking. The music was like the dung you hear when you are put on hold by call centre's.

Out to Pizza Express tonight and polished off a few bottles of wine not to mention a Sloppy Giuseppe and finishing off with a cheese board. Diet? what diet

Friday, 22 August 2008

Just the 1

Went for a little aperitif after work. I was joined by a work colleague Phoned my Daughter and Son in law to see if they would like to join us. They are not long back from their holiday in Florida (They reminded me everyday since they booked the holiday that they were going to Florida). They have booked again for next year so I knew what to expect. While we were having the little drink and chat I told my sibling to tell my colleague about their up and coming holiday next year. (She looked surprised, as I moan about holiday talk) Off she went with her holiday itinerary about their 3 weeks in Florida. I told my colleague to tell them of his holiday plans.... He and his wife are taking a year out to travel the world ... RESULT...

Anyway back to the bar... I think she phoned my wonderful LSD to come and collect me... I was taken home a little worse for wear I have to admit.

Off to Scotland tomorrow....

Thursday, 21 August 2008


Had the pleasure of going to Craigavon today. Not a place to get lost in I can tell you. It's roundabout country. It's like driving by numbers.. Directions I received.... Go to roundabout 1 and head for centre, at roundabout 2 take a left.. the roundabouts even have names (Which no-one remembers) I wonder why.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008


Another half pound off tonight.... I'm cuffed...

6 Stone 11 lb off

3lb to target..... COMING SOON

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Nice Day at Last

Have to say, after all the rain we've been having lately, I thought our chance of a nice day had gone for this year. But today was very pleasant and the evening turned out to be quite warm. I wonder is nice weather on the way.... Lets hope so.
Weigh in tomorrow night. I recon I may have some weight on as I started back to the gym training, running, using weights, press ups, rowing machine, cross trainer and all the usual stuff, all to try and tone up a little. They say muscle weighs more than fat?, so I'll not be too disappointed if the scales are not in my favour.... Oh yes, and I enjoyed myself over a few nights last week with excellent food (Including, a gorgeous cheese cake my LSD made) and lots of fine wine My mates had come over from Horton Kirby.... "Wheres that ?" I hear you ask....


Monday, 18 August 2008

Egg Heads

If you've ever watched BBC's programme Egg Heads you will know what I'm talking about. Went into Victoria Square today for a Jeff Duke (Look) bought a new wallet out of Fossil and went to O'Briens sandwich bar for a triple decker toastie (Shared). In the queue behind me were two nice senior citizens, I over heard their conversation regarding what they were going to have for lunch. I thought someone had turned on Egg Heads.
"What you going to have for lunch" the first one said. "What is there" was the reply. "You can have a wrap, a tostie or a sandwich" The second one paused a while before answering. "I don't like wraps because everything falls out of them, and I don't like toasties as they are too rough in the mouth so I THINK, I'll have a sandwich"
I thought wow, there's a surprise

Sunday, 17 August 2008


Tonight my LSD and I were sitting in the living room, she was watching TV and I was surfing the Internet on my wireless laptop when a thought came to me, I had to share that thought with her.
I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, please just pull the plug"

So she got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine!... She can be so cruel at times. .

Saturday, 16 August 2008

The Holidays Are Coming

Christmas is just around the corner. Remember when you seen the coke ad on telly with the trucks driving along the snowy road with the song "Holidays are coming the holidays are coming" playing. I know when I saw it I knew Christmas must just be around the corner!
I have seen some shops ready to sell their Christmas goods, I've seen posters advertising Christmas dinners, so book early, after all it is August and you wouldn't want to be disappointed.

Ho Ho Ho...

Friday, 15 August 2008

Father Jack's Taxi

I think maybe Father Jack Hackett was in town today?

Thursday, 14 August 2008

A Raise In Fares

The bus fares are to change from next Monday as a result of the rise in the price of fuel. Ok, we thought it would. I seem to be using public transport a lot more than I used to. For a good while I have been getting on buses that drivers have been a lot more user friendly. Polite and pleasant.
This morning was an exception... I caught an early bus to head into town, I was off work today but wanted to go to the gym. Not even a grunt from the driver as I boarded the bus and away the bus went, before all who who had just boarded were able to sit down. I noticed as the bus was approaching a stop a postman running (He must have had first class mail) for the bus, he must have been less than 20 yards from the stop and no way would the driver NOT have seen him but he just drove on. I thought to myself what would have been the problem pulling up to the stop and wait a few seconds for the guy?. On we went and in my opinion was faster that the speed limit allowed for the area. The same driver did the same thing at another stop further down the road and the second guy was closer to a stop than the first. What a public servant the driver was.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Target In Sight

Surprised tonight. I was hoping to have a pound off at my FF (Sorry Sharon) I should say my Slimming World Class. I weighed in with another 2 and a half pound OFF to bring me within 3 and a half pound off my target.

6 Stone 10 and a half pound off. NEARLY THERE!

You know, you may think that's brill, but my LSD had 5 and a half pound off.... Well done to her.

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Words Of Wisdom (Or are they)

Can't eat Beef, Mad Cow....

Can't eat chicken, Bird Flu

Can't eat eggs, Salmonella

Can't eat pork, Fears of Trichinosis....

Can't eat fish, Heavy metals in the waters have poisoned their meat

Can't eat fruits and veggies, Insecticides and Herbicides

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMM

I believe that leaves Chocolate !!!!!!!! Remember - - -'
STRESSED' spelled backwards is 'DESSERTS'

Monday, 11 August 2008

Photo Shoot

Had to go to the City Hall today as a local newspaper is running a story this week about OUR (My little swamp duck and I) weight loss. We had our photos taken wearing a sample of our old clothes. My LSD had a jacket on which would have gone around her a couple of times and I put a pair of trousers on which I can only describe as clowns trousers. (All that was missing was the big shoes)
We had just finished the photo shoot when this lady approach us. She introduced herself and said she was from Canada. (I thought she was coming to tell us to get the hell of the grass) she then asked one of the snappers if he would take a photo with her camera of Queen Victoria's statue and herself as her daughter's name is Victoria. I had to laugh... There was this professional snapper with this huge camera around his neck and she started to instruct him in the use of her camera, it was so funny to watch...

PS: Ref Royal Snail...... Got my two parcels today over 72hrs later

Sunday, 10 August 2008

South Ossetia Crisis

Georgia says its forces have withdrawn from South Ossetia. An government spokesman is reported to have said it was not a military defeat but a necessary step to protect civilians from a "humanitarian catastrophe". (A bit late for that mate, I think sadly that's already happened)
I was reading a comparison of the Georgian forces to the Russian forces.
Total personnel: 26,900
Main battle tanks (T-72): 82
Armoured personnel carriers: 139
Combat aircraft (Su-25): Seven
Heavy artillery pieces (including Grad rocket launchers): 95
Total personnel: 641,000
Main battle tanks (various): 6,717
Armoured personnel carriers: 6,388
Combat aircraft (various): 1,206
Heavy artillery pieces (various): 7,550 (Source: Jane's Sentinel Country Risk Assessments)

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Royal Snail (Part 3)

The saga continues.... Tried from 12:00 to get through on the phone to Tomb Street (I have a good idea why it's called that) but surprise surprise it was engaged. My wonderful house phone has a ring back feature on it. So I let the phone ring until it cut out after 5 minutes with a message saying "no answer at the number you are trying, press 5 for ring back, so I did.
About 2 minutes later it rang, I answered, and nobody there. I went through the same procedure 4 times.... After that I just tried my luck. Sometimes it rang, no answer... Time was slipping away as they close at 1, I got through about 12:40.... Happy days I thought....

What I'm about to tell you is the honest truth about what was said....

The voice said "Hello".. "Hi, could you check for me if my two parcels are in yet please" I asked... "Ah.. hold on, I don't know what the craic is down here" and off he went.... about 30 seconds later this other guy came on the phone "Hello".. "Hi, if I gave you two parcel reference numbers could you check if they are there yet please".. "Don't give me the numbers, whats the address" told him, off he went and returned empty handed. "It can take up to 48 hours to reach here" he said...

Why go on I thought... Looks like Monday ..... We are going to see The Mummy tonight, maybe I'll check if my parcels are in Hamunaptra

Royal Snail (Part 2)

Had my swim and a clam down steam room so time to tackle Tomb Street once again... I took the advice I was given and phoned first. How strange permanently engaged, quicker to call on the way past. Got parked and in I went. Different guy this time, off he went with the two cards, and back he came with the two cards. "Not here, you've to wait 24 hours before calling and really you should have rang first"... "OK" I said "2 points, 1st I did try and phone and it was permanently engaged"... "We're very busy and he's (Whoever that was) always on the phone" was the reply. "Ok" I said my 2nd point it's now 25hrs so that blows that point out of the water"

"It takes longer than that" he said. That's when I realised no point continuing the quest for my parcels, just go home... but not before getting out my final line. "So what you are trying to say is, whats written on the card is a load of dung"?.... No reply....

Royal Snail (Part 1)

Arrived home last night to find 2 "Sorry, you were out" cards lying in my hall. The post man had been at 10:06 am and the two parcels he could not deliver went back to the depot.
I went down this morning at around 9am to collect them from Tomb Street. "They're not here" I was told. "You're supposed to wait 24 hours"... "So if I stand here for another 45 minutes they will appear?" I asked... "Perhaps it's the bad weather holding it up" he said... I did smile at this point and asked... " Bad weather?, are they being flown down from Mullusk on a paper aeroplane?" He then got the hump and said I should have rang first.....
I went off for my daily swim

Friday, 8 August 2008

More New Clothes

Went into town after work last night as I wanted to get a new shirt. I ended up with a new jacket, two pairs of trousers and two pairs of jeans, but no shirt.
On the good side of things I've dropped another trouser size. That makes eight in all.... yeee haaa.
On the bad side we went to Morrisons for a wine, then to the Apartment and had a few cocktails, a lovely dinner with wine, a taxi home (No wine), finishing off with a cheese board and some more wine.... Let's see what damage has been done next Wednesday night at weigh in.
I have scheduled this post for tomorrow morning as I shall be away swimming and steam rooming (For damage limitation) by the time it gets published.
I've a feeling I'll have a sore head into the bargain...
Today is 08/08/08

Thursday, 7 August 2008

A Perfect Relationship


1. It is important to find a woman who cooks, cleans up and has a job.

2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It is important to find a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It is very important that these four women don't ever meet each other

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Yet Again

Another pound off tonight, making it:

6 Stone 8 Lb off

I was thinking about the ones who say "Oh, don't lose anymore weight"... It's a pity they didn't say to me years back...
"Oh, don't put anymore weight on"
Maybe they did, and I just never listened..... lol

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

I'll Huff And I'll Puff

Since starting into my new get fit routine I've been swimming nearly everyday at a pool near to where I work. I enjoy after the swim to relax in the steam room or sauna and finish off in the jacuzzi. I go into the steam room then these so called super fit participants from the gym come in and they huff and puff as if they are 90+ and smoking 40 a day, and it takes them ages closing the door behind them. You can guarantee that one will say "Phew, it's warm in here" (Of course it is you muscle bound bone head, it's a STEAM ROOM) I often bite my tongue as pain and I don't mix. (If you know what I mean) The other day I went to the jacuzzi and there were two guys already in it, they were sitting talking (Nothing wrong with that you may say) without the jacuzzi running? ... I being me, just got in and switched it back on. As the bubbles started to erupt like a volcano they got up, got out and when they were about to go I just could not help myself so I said... "Sorry guys, if I'd known you only wanted a bath together I would not have switched it on"
It was at this point I thought oops, big mouth... Luckily they just gave me a dirty look and not a smack in the gub.... I live to slabber another day...

Monday, 4 August 2008

Dollar Rate

This time last year I was able to get $2.03 to the £. Today I got $1.92.16. Not bad I suppose. What did really annoy me, when I went to my bank at lunch time there were three tellers on duty and a long queue. People were banking their penny's and it was taking ages. One of the tellers went for lunch and the queue got even longer. I was getting cash so I could change them into US dollars. I asked what their rate was and it was lower than was offered by another bank. So I took my money and went straight to the other bank. What a change. They have started a new policy were staff stay on over lunch time and take their lunch off peak. No queue and good service.... Well done Ulster Bank at Shaftsbury Square.... The Northern could learn from them...

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Ewe Ate All The Pies

Read this story about a 22 stone sheep. Wonder would it like to go to Slimming World. It likes to watch TV. I was thinking pehaps it's top 5 programmes are...

1. Dr Ewe
2. Sheependers
3. Not the 9 O'Clock Ewes
4. Ewe do you think you are
5. Ewe are what you eat

Yes, I know that's Baa d

Saturday, 2 August 2008

Out Shopping

Went into town today and treated myself to dive fins. Why you may ask!. It's got nothing to do with the awful weather we are having at the moment (But then again, they will come in handy if the rain doesn't stop) They are for my holidays, off to warmer places and I intend to try a bit of snorkeling and maybe some scuba diving. Now I've lost weight there's less chance of me getting harpooned by a passing Japanese whaler, or getting towed back out to sea by Greenpeace

Friday, 1 August 2008

Ex-Wives Take Note!

Read this heart warming story.... Look at the guy's expression in the photograph, I think he's sending a personal message to his