Beware Of Men In Mini Skirts

Two drunken louts in Swansea got their comeuppance when they picked on who they thought were ladies on a night out. They turned out to be cage fighters dressed for a stag do.

We All Get Old

Remember, we all get old. Hope this video is thought provoking

Belleek Weekend

Went to Belleek in County Fermanagh. The weather was fantastic, drink flowed like Lough Erne, craic was mighty, but the Hotel ???? ... how could I describe it.... I'll put it like this, it would make Faulty Towers look light a Hilton ....

Relaxing

Up early yesterday had a short walk then got the 7am bus into town. I wanted to take some photos of the City Hall first thing, before heading down to St Georges Market (And all this before work) I have to say it was so relaxing.

I was in the City Hall grounds snapping away when I was approached by a man who started randomly talking about how the Belfast wheel was built, and then progressed on to talk about how the pyramids were built. He gave me his thoughts about the death and hard labour connected with the construction of pyramids and how the labour of today can't do anything without a forklift truck and a crane. (A glimmer of truth in that) Remember, I'm there to relax and I'm trying to get use to my new camera.

He then asked me what I thought of the pyramids, I told him I disagreed with him, as the Martians built the pyramids... it done the trick... No more questions....No more man..

Hope you like the photo's.....

Yee Grand Old Opera House

My little swamp duck and I went to the GOH in Belfast last night to see Annie. A great production with Sue Pollard in the role of Miss Hannigan.
The show started at 19:45 (Quarter to eight) about 10 - 15 minutes into the show these six dames (Yes, they did look as if they were out of a panto) came waltzing in and three of them sat in the seats in the row directly in front of us. They shuffled about to make themselves comfortable, took their coats off and then.... took their mobiles out and started to text..... (I had thought they were going to turn them off).. then they starting talking .... one of the phones rang and they answered the call and started talking... All while the show was going on... That was it.....

I asked them was there any chance of me hearing the show, the one in the middle turned around to start a staring contest with me. (She abused the privilege of being ugly let me tell you) It lasted about 4 secs, I Won. They didn't open their cake hole the rest of the night, it was obvious they don't often get out.

I enjoyed the show anyway

Only In America

Is it a shaggy dog story ????

Light Trails

Don't get much time to blog at the moment so I'll just stick the odd photo up in the mean time... I tried my hand at light trails......

An Obituary Printed In The Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies ( don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and should you do so the burglar would sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Cruise Ship

Royal Caribbeans "Jewel of the Seas" made a visit to the Port of Belfast. Met a few of the passengers (Americans) doing some shopping in our very own shopping mall (Castle Court)

A Day For Transport

What a lovely day it was, sun shinning so off to the Folk and Transport Museum for a while. Viewed loads of old modes of transport trams, trolley buses and Steam trains to name a few. Over to view yee old cottages etc at the folk part. A great day in all, but what put the icing on the cake was the fly past of the Airbus A380 over the George Best City Airport en-route to the Airport at Portrush. The plane did two low level fly pasts,.... looked awsome...

Wee Joke For The Weekend

An English man & an Irish man are driving head on at night, on a twisty dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions & collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' May the English & the Irish live together forever in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down.
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies:
...... "Nah thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here"

Diet Drink

I do enjoy the odd diet drink to quench the thirst and help with the calorie count. This guy in Florida (That's in the USA, if you've never heard of it) found something odd in his can of Diet P.

I wonder how many calorie's it added.....

500 students disciplined in year

The post title is a headline of a BBC NI News web page... I posted on the subject of some of the student ASB (Anti-social behaviour) back in June (12th, Police Appeal).
The following is a quote from the page.

"The university is being very active in terms of the discipline - now there
are cases still ongoing - but there is a very strong disciplinary message going
out,"

What I would like to know, what were the fines ????? (In my opinion, I bet they were not enough)

New Pledge of Allegiance (USA)

Recieved an email from a friend in the USA with the following text... In my opinion it's worth a read.
Written by a 15 yr. old School Kid in Ohio:
New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME!)
Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer Are not allowed in Schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned...

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom thing..
The law is specific, the law is precise...
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
We can carry smut, but not the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot;
My soul please take! ......Amen

Well? what do you think?

Countdown To Christmas

Looks like Christmas is just around the corner, the countdown has started and is up and running on the Internet. While I was channel flicking on the TV, I even saw a Christmas sale on one of the shopping channels...

HO HO HO

Joke Of The Day

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Eddie, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Eddie says, "I feel just like a newborn baby. "

"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

Strictly Dung Dancing

OH NO that time again! Got my TV untuned in case I mistakenly tuned into the X Factor (Can't stand the judges) and now Strictly has risen it's head, it's not the dancers I dislike, I just think it time they retired Brucie and the judges. They do my head in.... Thank goodness for DVD's ........

Britain's Most Romantic Husband

I'm sure my LSD thinks that me, but I read this web page and it looks like it's Tom from North Wales.. (Fair play to you sir)
Like Tom, a kiss first thing in the morning and last thing at night is a daily routine for me and I always wipe the mirror straight after..
I can say though I never go to sleep with an argument open.... I stay up and fight the bitch alnight if I have too....

Only joking..

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Old Folks Home and the amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from many Senior Homes to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family five or six Generations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch .' The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the Floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Old Folks Home

Dont Talk To Strangers

How often have you said that to your children, (If you have any that is) but yet at some event's you actually encourage you offspring to do just that. Take Christmas for instance. Some old fat boy in a red suit sitting on a chair and I have had first hand experience of seeing parents forcing, yes forcing their sprogs onto fat boy's knee so they can get a photo for the album.
Do we really know who the hell is inside the suit? The reason I thought I'd blog on this brings me back to the Tall Shits (Oops Ships)
This good old friendly bear (Photo) was walking around shaking hands, patting kids on heads and getting hugs. Later the same bear was observed (By not only myself but by a couple of my work colleagues) going into a public portable toilet marked disabled, along with its two young female handlers. The trio stayed in the loo for at least 40 minutes before leaving. (I suppose to shake more hands and pat more heads) What were they doing in the den for that length of time?. your guess is as good as mine.

Hug the bear, NO BLOODY WAY...

No More Tall Ships

Listening to the news today I heard that Belfast is fighting to get the Tall Ships back. I broke into a cold sweat... until I heard, not for another nine years.... Phew...
I'll either be retired or dead by then... (lucky break me thinks)

More Ships

Belfast Port is becoming a regular stop for passing cruise liners (Passing to where I've no Idea) This Princess monster was at the Pollock Dock, so I ventured to get a snap.I read on the website that it will be leaving it's berth at 20:00 (8pm) so I got down to the port for around 19:30 and the shit had gone... just a speck on the horizon .... it's in again bank holiday weekend so may be I'll get a shot of her at sea..... (Here's hoping)

Sail Away

At last, the ships are gone. Four days of this nautical festival are finally over. I almost shed a tear as I spotted the arse end (Stern) of the last vessel sailing off into the distance. Looking back over the four days I'm sure the crowds who attended spent a fortune. Trying to get something to eat or drink was like a task out of the Krypton Factor, only the smart won the race to the till. I'm sure all the catering staff at the event got fed up with joe public. I found a great spot for coffee in the form of a stall set up by The Street. It was always easier to go to the stall rather than queue in their cafe. What I didn't like was the milk sat in a big open jug on a table set aside from the stall for all who wanted to, spit, flick their bogies or drop anything of their choice into the jug. I asked each time for a coffee with milk and watched as the milk came out of a covered container from behind the stall. Today was the first time I was told "You get the milk from the jug" I said "I don't think so, I want it from the covered container"... (I got the look of death, and the milk from the container)

Everything was so costly, one of the night returning to the Giant's Park (park n ride) an ice cream van was waiting and I heard a 99 call out to me so I had to have one. £1.50 for a bog standard ice cream cone (Poke) with a bottom of the range chocolate flake stuck into it. I admit it was nice.

By the way, Giant's Park is the main council dump......

Boats R Us Day 3

The weather was fantastic all day, brought the people out yet again.. Everyone seemed to be in great form (Which is something new for this place) Lots of music today in the form of a band of the Sea Cadets, which I have to say were fantastic. BBC Radio Ulster had more outside broadcasts today and more presenters playing music after the station was off the air.. loads to entertain the crowds.

In the afternoon there was a record breaking attempt to see if Belfast could gather over 1500 Pirates in the one place... Think I saw about 50... hard luck guys... so many people did put a lot of effort into the Captain Jack Sparrow look but I don't think it was very well publicised, pity someone hadn't flooded facebook with the idea, I recon there's not much chance of using the Internet on the "Black Pearl" (If you know what I mean)

Lots of demonstrations from the various emergency services like the Ambulance service attending the countless number of people taking ill at the event, the PSNI enforcing the "It's our way or no way rule" The NI Fire Service showed what to do in the event of a chip pan fire, they also had a make up car accident.... What I did notice was the location of it... right in front of the fairground dodgems..... well it was Cullens dodgems

I See Tall Ships

I even saw tall ships in my dreams last night... Day 2 down at the port started off with a rain and more rain. The place turned into an umbrella hell. For the second day in a row I tried to get a good view of the ships. Yesterday it was the vast crowd that made it totally impossible for me to get around all the ships in the little time I had, today it was made impossible because of the huge amount of umbrellas on show to keep ye old blue rinse intact.... I had my face poked with them and nearly had an eye poked out, my fault of course for not having a cattle prod with me...

I did see a little bit of fund raising genius. It came from the crew of the "Jolie Brise 1913" This tall ship had broken part of a mast in a storm while crossing the Atlantic. The crew needed to raise funds to pay for the repair. The were sawing the broken mast into pieces and asking for a minimum donation of £2 to own a piece of the mast. The Jolie Brise is reported to be the oldest tall ship in the race....

I have an old broken Alegro? wonder could I pull the same stunt???